Impatience, Time and Nothingness

I am looking to circumambulate two propositions: That impatience stems from a skewed relationship with time, while nothingness and the serious engagement with death are profoundly integrating and healing.

“I had the flu and was too sick to practice meditation.” “My father-in-law died, and I had to stop practicing because we were too busy taking care of family stuff.” “After ten minutes of practice, I get impatient, uptight, need to move around, and have to stop my practice.” “I was so distracted that I was not able to practice.” Does this sound familiar?

What if I told you that no conceivable life circumstance can hinder your practice, and unless you don’t want to practice, the inability to practice does in most circumstances not exist? What if the above statements would have to be rewritten as follows? “I had the flu and was so sick and overwhelmed that I did not feel like or know how to use my meditation tools.” “My father-in-law died, and I stopped practicing because the hustle and bustle of the circumstance increased my mind’s forgetting function and thereby strengthened conceptually constructed illusions.” “After ten minutes of practice, I get impatient, uptight, need to move around, and I don’t have the experience to check what skills are missing in my practice.” “I was so distracted that I forgot that the distraction is itself a mental state like any other to be held in awareness and explored.”

Let me be clear: I am not saying that everybody should or can practice mindfulness meditation, or that there are no contraindications to doing so. I am simply addressing the unsuspecting majority of people who have legitimately taken steps to begin mindfulness meditation training and end up happily deceived by rationalizations to give up.

Because humans are fickle and crave instant results, it cannot be emphasized enough that mindfulness meditation is a skill to be learned, honed, and practiced over a long period of time – a thousand years on average. We are not talking about practicing a skill so that eventually we will arrive at the promised land while in the meantime we toil in hell. We are practicing this skill because the very act of doing so is the promised land. Immediately, when seen this way, we realize that the promised land sits on the ruins of etymology – ‘pro-mittere’ in Latin means ‘release/letting go/send forward’ (mission). What’s forward in this notion of ‘promised’ is the vast unknown of creativity, and by releasing into it we submit to the principle of impermanence that always changes everything without ever being static. Done skillfully, this opening to the unknown is called meditation, the gift that keeps on giving in the form of noticing improvement. What a delight to have no other goal than noticing improvement. On this path, unexamined impatience has no place. Mastering the right techniques is essential for success, success meaning a significant decrease, if not even disappearance of suffering when we realize that we are always already there where we are supposed to be.

When we appreciate the mind as the most complex phenomenon in the known universe, which thanks to all its splendor also affords us a limitless capacity for self-deception, we will hardly fall prey to cavalier attitudes believing that in a few weeks of training, we can know how to meditate, and life will all be better. Take just these three statements seriously – that mindfulness meditation is the hardest thing you will ever pursue in your life, that it takes a thousand years of training in learning precise mind tools, and that with the mind you are up against the most complex phenomenon in the known universe – and you will solve almost all challenges presented to you by the mind on this fascinating journey of discovering its nature, the nature of reality and truth, and the many ways we construct reality and let it affect our lives.

Impatience is one of those poorly recognized states of mind that interferes with all manner of growth and healing. Yearning for quick fixes and therapy shopping from one to the next in the hope of finding the imagined final solution to one’s problems is a ubiquitous mind trap one has to guard against. Desperate for water in the middle of the desert, digging one hundred shallow wells will not yield results; you have to dig one deep well, and that takes patience and time. This causes us to come face-to-face with another facet of the reality we usually quite desperately and unconsciously avoid like the plague – nothingness. Patience and impatience, time and nothingness are thus closely related topics central to mindfulness meditation and one’s healing journey in general.

Here is the mystery: You have more than a thousand years ahead of you because the thousand-year journey is timeless with no duration. It is a journey to nowhere one might feel one needs to go, achieving nothing one believes needs to be done, changing nothing one has the urge to escape from, and providing the freedom to be nobody else than who one already is. With no place to get to, it is a curious journey beginning at King’s Cross Station and involving platform 9¾. Everything is already there, including the end of suffering – all you must do is cultivate the mindset that gets you through the concrete pillar. To the untrained mind, the pillar is impenetrable and platform 9¾ non-existent, and finding the end of suffering appears as a daunting, almost insurmountable proposition. To the trained mind it is clear and simple, an orthogonal shift to a multidimensional awareness mode.
‘Orthogonal’ (Greek) means ‘at a right angle’, and I remember encountering this metaphor in Jon Kabat-Zinn’s work. So let me briefly yield to his words before continuing (Jon Kabat-Zinn, ‘Coming To Our Senses’, 2005 first edition, extracts from p. 347-351):

“As a rule, we humans have been admirable explorers and inhabitants of conventional reality, the world ‘out there’ defined and modulated by our five classical senses. We have made ourselves at home within that world, and have learned to shape it to our needs and desires over the brief course of human history. We understand cause and effect in the physical world. …
And yet even within science, looking at the edges, it is not so clear that we comprehend underlying reality, which seems disturbingly statistical, unpredictable, and mysterious. …
In the conventional everyday reality of lived experience … we dwell mostly accepting the appearance of things and create quasi-comfortable explanations for ourselves about how things are and why they are that way … really-not-looking-but-pretending-to-yourself-that-you-are.…
All the while, we are immersed in a stream of thoughts whose origins and content are frequently unclear to us and which can be obsessive, repetitive, inaccurate, disturbingly unrelenting and toxic, all of which both colour the present moment and screen it from us. Moreover, we are frequently hijacked by emotions we cannot control and that can cause great harm to ourselves and to others ….
Unpleasant moments are bewildering and disconcerting. So they are apt to be written off as aberrations or impediments to the ever-hoped-for happiness we are seeking and the story we build around it. … Alternatively, we might build an equally tenacious unpleasant story around our failures, our inadequacies, and our misdeeds to explain why we cannot transcend our limitations and our karma, and then, in thinking that it is all true, forget that it is just one more story we are telling ourselves, and cling desperately to it as if our very identity, our very survival, and all hope were unquestionably bound to it. … What we also forget is that the conventional, consensus reality we call the human condition is itself inexorably and strongly conditioned in the Pavlovian sense. … all this conditioning adds up to the appearance of a life, but often one that remains disturbingly superficial and unsatisfying, with a lingering sense that there must be something more, …
Such discomfort … may be all pervasive, a kind of silent background radiation of dissatisfaction in us all that, as a rule, we don’t talk about. Usually it is unilluminating, just oppressive.
But, when we look into what that disaffection, that background unsatisfactoriness actually is, when we are drawn to actually question and look into ‘who is suffering?’ in this moment, we are undertaking an exploration of another dimension of reality altogether – one that offers unrecognized but ever-available freedom from the confining prison of the conventional thought world, …
The process feels like nothing other than an awakening from a consensus trance, a dream world, and thus all of a sudden acquiring multiple degrees of freedom, … It is akin to the transition from a two-dimensional ‘flatland’ into a third spatial dimension, at right angles (orthogonal) to the other two. Everything opens up, although the two old dimensions are the same as they always were, just less confining. …
… we are initiating nothing less than a rotation in consciousness into another ‘dimension’, orthogonal to conventional reality, and thus, able to pertain at the same time as the more conventional one because you have simply ‘added more space’. Nothing needs to change. It’s just that your world immediately becomes a lot bigger, and more real. Everything old looks different because it is now being seen in a new light – an awareness that is no longer confined by the conventional dimensionality and mind set.
… [this is] a glimpse of what Buddhists refer to as absolute or ultimate reality, a dimensionality that is beyond conditioning but that is capable of recognizing conditioning as it arises. It is awareness itself, the knowing capacity of mind itself, beyond a knower and what is known, just knowing.
When we reside in awareness, we are resting in what we might call an orthogonal reality that is more fundamental than conventional reality, and every bit as real.
The conventional reality is not ‘wrong’. It is merely incomplete. And therein lies the source of both our suffering and our liberation from suffering.”

Kabat-Zinn does not directly talk about the three awareness modes I have been exploring in detail with my students in the Mindsight Intensive, the fields of consciousness, nothingness, and emptiness. A deeper exploration of those must be left for elsewhere. We can, however, taste some aspects of this journey towards freedom by recognizing how unique the expectations are with which we must take on meditation.

Meditation offers us a powerful sequence of interrelated processes serving as a royal road to deep peace – impatience resulting from a skewed relationship to time vanishes through the examination of the nature of time to make room for patience necessary to discover the inevitability of coming face-to-face with nothingness and death. Impatience, time, patience, and nothingness/death are basic realities on our path to liberation.

Once you master the basic tools used by the meditation guild and have gained some expertise in navigating the complex neighborhoods of your mind, you then must give the fire of awareness time to transform the mind’s energy flow and the brain’s neurofiring patterns – not unlike having mixed all your ingredients into your soup, and then giving the heat time to cook it. Easier said than done. During that time of ‘hanging in there’ without agenda, stabilizing attention one-pointedly on an object of awareness, and allowing everything else to unfold in the background of peripheral awareness with an open and accepting attitude full of curiosity, you invite and allow everything to be just as it is. Remember that you are not ‘hanging in there’ for a specific gain, but because it is so deeply healing just noticing improvement.

How much time do you need? Ten minutes, half an hour, an hour, a day? On this level of discourse, an hour a day of formal practice for the rest of your seven lifetimes is a good cruising velocity. The soup will cook nicely – you will accept with ever greater ease and elegance the satisfaction of noticing improvement for its own sake. However, most people crumble under the weight of time way before the hour has passed. Quite quickly, conditioned organismic processes make themselves felt in a variety of highly unpleasant experiences that drive us to abandon our cushions. The antidote? Access to timelessness

But how do we find timelessness within our time-bound lives? If you can’t trust your own subjective observation of the mind, you can trust physics to tell you that time is not a fundamental feature of reality. In other words, we must examine how our mind constructs time. It is thus not primarily about keeping track of the number of minutes you practice (although this number does give you a clue about your level of skill), but more about your skill in examining the ways numbers and minutes get constructed in your mind. In a more overarching way, it is about developing a clear sense of the subjective experiences created by the brain’s default mode network (the constructor) as distinguished from a very different set of experiences we call ‘the conduit’.

The default mode network’s constructor is the mind function that uninterruptedly creates stories. It is responsible for the incessant mind chatter filled with content and meaning we are all not only so familiar with but also so profoundly and completely identified with, that we end up confusing its content with reality. The conduit, on the other hand, is the entirety of direct somatic and sensory-motor experiences, which don’t have a content or storyline with meaning we can follow. These are the experiences we have through the external five senses of touch, sight, sound, taste, and smell, and the physical sensations in the body. In short, the real reality that gets directly presented to us through the conduit becomes transformed by the constructor (default mode network) into a virtual re-presented reality. The constructor is like a menu you read or a map you consult – though intellectually useful and interesting, it will never slake your hunger, quench your thirst, or immerse you in the landscape. The conduit is the actual meal you eat or the territory you hike in. We are so not used to realizing how virtual our thoughts, beliefs, and stories are, that we constantly confuse them with reality. This results in disembodied, stressed lives lived ‘in our heads’ in times (past and future) that don’t exist.

The moment your meditation dives into the intricacies of that construction, recognizing it as such and not confusing it with reality anymore, you discover that the foundation upon which you live is the conduit with its timeless moments that flow like a river to nowhere. Indeed, the stories of your construction themselves turn out to be no more than energy flow processes, not finished products experienced as truths for sale to other people. Consequently, even deeply held beliefs and meaning become no more than a fleeting appearance like the clouds in the sky. This applies equally to the construction of time, which can be directly observed, both individually and culturally in cultures without clocks or a sense of time like ours. Upon close examination, both conduit and constructor unveil their fleeting nakedness as they slip through our fingers like water we try to grasp. Your relationship with time changes profoundly.

When steeped in that conduit, the sense of ‘not being able to bear it anymore’ dissipates for several reasons. ‘I am not able to bear it anymore’ is recognized as just a thought, a construction, not real reality. As such it is as fleeting an energy flow as any other. Now grounded in conduit without any of the goals and meanings created by the constructor, you can recognize resistances and defenses that cause the experience to be felt more dramatically than it really is. You can emphasize curiosity, openness, acceptance, and allowing and letting be as a way of breaking past conditionings. Finally, time is revealed to just be a fleeting construction; there is no sense of less or more time that affects your expectations of how the immediate future needs to look. You touch timelessness. In the face of that realization (‘realization’ meaning an embodied awareness of reality), conditioned organismic processes that drive you on autopilot appear in a different light. Instead of being unpleasant experiences or problems, which you feel you need to bear, solve, or escape from by leaving your cushion, they are ‘just’ complex energy flows, each with their own qualities, direction, and destiny. Ten minutes, an hour, neither is either more difficult or less productive. They are just different, and with this ‘just’ the struggle and resistance fall away. Practicing for an hour changes from being an endurance game to becoming an invigorating massage instead.

Patience with nothing is quite a treasure. Remember: Nowhere to go, nothing to do, nothing to change, nothing to know, nobody to be – nada, zilch, squat, zippo. Timelessly surrendering to the vast emptiness of Being. It is like having assembled all the soup ingredients in a pot and all you now have to do is stir occasionally while letting it simmer on the fire. When everything is said and done – dreams are cleared, emotions regulated, memories integrated, thought rivers understood, and actions wisely measured – when nothing is left to say or do, the second of the three legs of our thousand-year journey begins by confronting nothingness and death in awareness.

Neither nothingness nor death are negative or nihilistic states, nor are they pessimistic outlooks on life. Granted, from the perspective of ordinary waking consciousness we call the field of consciousness, death, and nothingness appear as dark, cold, forsaken, and gloomy realities, which in Western philosophy existentialism has wrestled with. But Western philosophy being a largely intellectual exploration within the context of ordinary everyday consciousness does not manage well to pierce through the existential despair and discover an orthogonal dimension waiting to be realized. It does not use the awareness tools necessary for that. Mindfulness meditation offers that option, and we discover that quite on the contrary, death and nothingness are optimistic, positive, dynamic, and creative. When approached properly, they affirm the value and meaning of life in the face of suffering and death and open up a new horizon of freedom and responsibility for human beings. Prepare to die wisely and you will have a full and meaningful life.

Nothingness is the ground of being, the source of all possibilities, and the ultimate reality that transcends all dualities and categories such as subject and object, self and other, life and death. Nothingness is not something that can be grasped by rational thought or empirical observation, but only by a radical transformation of one’s consciousness and existence. It can provide a way to overcome existential crises and achieve a deeper understanding of oneself and the world. The only way to overcome the nihilism of existentialism is to go through it, to face in full awareness the nothingness that lies at the bottom of human existence, and to realize that it is not a negative void filled with death, but a positive source of creativity and freedom. By awakening to this field of nothingness, one can overcome the alienation and anxiety of existentialism and attain a new mode of being that is authentic, compassionate, and open to the infinite possibilities of existence that provide a deeper sense of meaning and joy. By implication, we need death to really get to know life at its deepest.

That powerfully transformative nothingness is waiting for you in many different cloaks and disguises at every turn: When you are bored, ‘nothing’ seems to happen, it all seems always the same, you can’t stand it anymore, you are lost, you have better things to do, you are assailed by the question ‘and now what?’, you have lost all sense of life’s meaning, or you are frantically searching for an imagined something to improve the life that eternally eludes you, like Vladimir and Estragon waiting for Godot. Without falling into forgetfulness, you stop waiting, you stop searching for the elusive prize that like the mirage of an oasis forever recedes as you approach. You rest in the awareness of nothing, a rich and creative void of unimaginable spaciousness, power, quality, and luminosity, and instead of waiting, you are present, waiting for nothing as everything is already there, doing nothing as everything of essence is already done. Instead of searching, you just receive; you revel in just being. This has by the way something to do with the capacity to be alone.

One of my students recently put it beautifully in an email as a question:
“Is it possible to reach a stage in your transformative journey of the mind where things stop making any sense, seemingly out of nowhere? It’s like, you’re practicing, formally and informally, working the tools and over time, you become a fairly skilled surfer, riding the waves with a sense of relative ease, stability, and flow.
And then, seemingly out of nowhere, as you seemingly ride the same waves in the same ocean, you can’t seem to stay on the surfboard with any sense of stability anymore. But you haven’t any clue why. You just can’t. Your balance is off. You don’t know anything anymore. Seemingly without any warning, you’re a beginner again.
The only thing I can say about this is that I notice a deeper widening within me, a deeper felt grief and sadness about our world in rapid chaos, and a felt confusion around how to be with the impermanence of civilization with reverence and faith.”

There is no room left for impatience when we examine the construction of concepts and time in meditation. Impatience is the escape from the truth by trying to escape to somewhere else than where we are; it is just resistance to the inevitable truth of ‘just Being’ in our practice of ‘just sitting’ with what ‘just keeps hitting you over the head the more you try to dismiss it’. When we settle in the flow of the foundations of our Being rather than precariously balance on the rooftops of our storied existence, impatience melts away like snow in the sun. The resulting holy water inspires the daily hour we sit on our cushion to become a transformative bath in the timeless vastness of Being – like a nurturing oasis amid the vast desert of existence with its trials and tribulations that toss us to and fro.

One must resist the temptation to make ‘the flow of the foundations of Being’ or ‘the timeless vastness of Being’, or indeed ‘nothingness’ into some ‘thing’ we can eventually find, get to, or achieve. Absolute nothingness is so profound that concepts must be released as what they are – puffs of smoke. If there is any trace of something called ‘nothing’, it must be released. This also applies to death. It is a no-thing and therefore no more than a process of transformation the likes of which we have spent a lifetime absorbed in. This absolute nothingness is ‘no thing’ whatsoever, and since all we can imagine are ‘things’, ‘no thing’ cannot be imagined. Just because it cannot be imagined or thought about does not mean it cannot be lived and known – not known in the sense of intellectual knowledge of something, but in the sense of unknowable knowing even beyond intuition.

The grace of opening those further dimensions of our awareness and orthogonally falling into a larger context with more dimensions than ordinary waking consciousness comes with the realization that we own nothing, we cannot hold on to anything, we are forced to unknow everything to end suffering, we lose everything we believed we had, and we ultimately are ‘no thing’ at all. No-thing is what death reveals when we get close to it. It is also the discovery of an orthogonal dimension we did not see before. In embracing this reality, ‘we die before we die in order not to die when we die’ as Buddhists tend to put it. Dying is radiantly liberating as it dissolves our conditionings to the point of revealing death as a transformation instead of an end, and thereby an inextricable feature of a life well lived.

All of reality is transformation, and there is no more powerful way to challenge old conditionings and make room for new, creative growth than to allow us to be purified by the awareness mode of the field of nothingness.

Copyright © 2023 by Dr. Stéphane Treyvaud. All rights reserved.

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Four depths down and the medicine of emptiness

Where healing ends in silence

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July 13, 2026

I. The Ladder of Depths

Every complaint a human being brings to another human being, every human exchange can be met at four depths. This is not a metaphor. It is a clinical observation, repeatable across decades of practice, and it has a strange property: the deeper the layer at which the human suffering is met, the less is said, the less is done, and the more is healed. The trajectory of genuine help runs not toward more sophisticated answers but toward the progressive exhaustion of answering itself, combined with deepening mastery of responsibility.

Take the most ordinary of openings, the sentence uttered a thousand times a day in every language: “I feel stressed. I am unhappy and having a hard time coping.” What happens next depends entirely on the depth at which the listener is standing. And here is the experiment this essay proposes: we will answer that same sentence four times, once from each layer, and we will let the language itself betray the depth. For the layers are not merely different techniques – they are different relationships to language, and beneath that, different relationships to the whole person. Each layer addresses a different stratum of the one who suffers: the first addresses her circumstances, the second his thoughts, the third her hidden story, and the fourth the whole organism itself – that living totality of body, brain, history, and awareness which precedes every story told about it. As we descend, words do not simply change their content. They change their function, then their density, and finally their necessity – because what they are addressing grows progressively larger than anything words were built to hold.

II. The First Layer: The World of Advice

“Oh, I know exactly what you mean – I went through the same thing last year. Have you tried getting more sleep? Honestly, that changed everything for me. And you should really take a proper vacation, you’ve earned it. Maybe cut back on the coffee too. My sister swears by yoga – there’s a great studio near you. You’ll get through this. Everyone does.”

That is the friend. The counselor at this same layer sounds different – more disciplined, less autobiographical – but listen to where the inquiry lives:

“Let us look at what is actually happening. When did the stress begin – and what changed around that time? Workload? Sleep? Finances? A relationship? Let us make an inventory of your commitments and sort them: which are truly yours, which could be delegated, which could be dropped. Which sources of pressure are within your control, and which are not? Once we can see the whole picture, we can build a plan – realistic steps, one at a time.”

The counselor has removed himself from the frame – no sister, no yoga studio, no borrowed biography – and this is real professional discipline. The exploration is genuinely investigative: causes are sought, factors are sorted, a plan takes shape. And yet the friend and the counselor stand at exactly the same depth, because the inquiry, however methodical, remains entirely within the concrete, the logical, the practical. Notice what the language of both is doing: it is full. It brims with content – the friend’s content is her own life, the counselor’s content is the inventory and the plan, but content it remains. Its grammatical mood is the imperative softened by kindness or the question aimed at action: try this, sort that, decide this. It treats suffering as a logistics problem – something is misarranged in the person’s circumstances and must be resupplied, rescheduled, reorganized. The person herself is addressed as the manager of her situation, and the whole of her – the body that carries the stress, the history that shaped her way of carrying it, the awareness in which all of it appears – is left standing outside the consulting room. The listener remains entirely within what we might call the world of things: the world of content, of provisions, of arrangements, of more.

The first layer helps, sometimes. But it heals the way a borrowed coat warms – from the outside, temporarily, and in someone else’s size. Even the counselor’s well-tailored plan remains a coat.

III. The Second Layer: The World of Meaning

“Let us look at the thought itself. When you say ‘I am having a hard time coping,’ what is the belief underneath? Perhaps: ‘I should be able to handle this alone,’ or ‘If I cannot cope, I am failing.’ Is that belief accurate? What is the evidence for it, and against it? What would you say to a friend who held it? Could the sentence be reframed – not ‘I am failing to cope’ but ‘I am carrying more than one person is built to carry’?”

The language has changed. It is no longer full of the helper’s life; it is structured, forensic, Socratic. Its mood has shifted from imperative to interrogative, but the questions are closed at the bottom – they have destinations. This is the cognitive layer, and its wager is that suffering rides on meaning: change the appraisal and you change the emotion, and through the emotion, the body. The wager frequently pays. Cognition is genuinely upstream of much misery, and a distorted belief, once caught in the light, loses a measure of its grip.

Yet notice what has not changed. The work still happens entirely within the economy of content. One meaning is exchanged for a better meaning, one story for a more adaptive story. The currency has been revalued, but we are still shopping. Something has genuinely deepened – the inquiry has moved from the person’s circumstances into the person, from the world to the thought about the world – but a thought is a thin slice of a human being. The self who suffers and the self who fixes remain intact, facing each other across the same table, and the rest of the organism – the felt body, the buried history, the wordless knowing that predates every appraisal – waits outside the renovated sentences, untouched.

IV. The Third Layer: The World Beneath the Story

“I notice you said ‘coping’ – as if life were a siege. I find myself wondering who taught you that. You mentioned your father once, almost in passing, when you spoke about your work – and your voice did something just then, similar to when you recounted your basement dream. What is the story you are not telling while you tell this one? I do not know what your stress is. I am not sure you do either – yet. What does it want from you?”

Again the language has transformed, and more radically. It has become slower, stranger, more allusive and interspersed with longer reflective silences. The questions are now open at the bottom – they lead nowhere in particular, which is precisely their power. This is the psychodynamic layer: it does not answer the story but listens beneath it, for the hidden story, the embodied emotional and somatic expressions of the non-verbal, the unsaid, the pattern that repeats across decades wearing different costumes. The interpreter offers no solutions; he offers unexpected connections, and the connections do not close the inquiry but open it. The patient leaves the hour not with answers but with better questions – and better questions are structural renovations, because they enlarge the space in which the mind can move. Where the second layer replaced content, the third layer loosens the grip of content altogether: perspectives widen, associations that were forbidden become thinkable, and the organism – not the intellect, the embodied organism – begins to find pathways it could not find while the official story blocked the road.

The language of this layer is already becoming porous. It gestures more than it states. It has learned to leave gaps – because it has discovered that the healing happens in the gaps.

V. The Fourth Layer

“I don’t know.”

Silence.

Nothing more. And – this is the scandal – nothing more is precisely what is needed. Not the frustrated silence of the helper who has run out of ideas, but the vast, deliberate, inhabited silence of one who has stopped needing ideas. When the patient asks for advice, for a solution, for anything: I don’t know. Let us stay here, with nothing, open to whatever may emerge. The language has completed its trajectory. At the first layer it was full; at the second, structured; at the third, porous; at the fourth it has become almost entirely space. And in parallel, what is being addressed has completed its own trajectory: from the person’s circumstances to her thoughts, to her hidden story, and now – finally – to the whole of her. Not the manager of situations, not the holder of beliefs, not even the teller of untold stories, but the entire living organism: the body with its four-billion-year inheritance, the nervous system with its sedimented history, the awareness in which all of it appears. That totality cannot be advised, cannot be reframed, cannot even be interpreted – it is larger than every instrument the shallower layers possess. It can only be met. What remains of speech is apophatic – it speaks only to unsay, it points only at what cannot be pointed at. The listener is no longer answering, no longer reframing, no longer even interpreting. The listener has become stillness itself, and offers the sufferer the strangest of all gifts: a place where absolutely nothing is required of them – and where, for the first time, nothing less than all of them is welcome; a place where nothing is precisely everything, and in the silence nothing important is left unsaid, left undone.

The remainder of this essay is an attempt to explain why this – the layer at which nothing is said, nothing is solved, and nothing is done – is not the abandonment of healing but its greatest depth.

VI. The Case Against Nothing

The objections deserve to be stated at full strength, because they are serious. First: is this not quietism dressed in therapeutic robes – a sophisticated permission to abandon the patient at exactly the moment she asks for help? Second: is it not nihilism – does the celebration of emptiness not risk confirming the depressed person’s darkest conviction, that nothing matters and nothing can be done? Third: is it not spiritual bypassing – the use of emptiness as an anesthetic, a way to float above the wound rather than enter it? And fourth, the empiricist’s objection: where is the mechanism? “Sit with nothing and be healed” sounds less like medicine than like mystification.

These objections share a single, understandable error: they mistake the fourth layer for the absence of the first three. But the layers are a ladder, not a menu. The silence of the fourth layer is not available as a starting point – offered prematurely, it is indeed abandonment, and offered to acute despair it is indeed dangerous. It becomes medicine only for the one who has climbed through advice and found it a borrowed coat, through reframing and found it redecoration, through interpretation and found even the finest insight to be one more piece of content – one more thing. The fourth layer is not the refusal to help. It is what helping becomes when everything shallower has been honestly exhausted. And nihility, as we shall see, is not the destination but the doorway – the place one must pass through, not the place one is invited to live.

VII. Why Nothing Heals

Consider first what suffering ordinarily makes us do. Pain arrives, and the whole organism organizes itself around a single project: get rid of it. We fight it, flee it, medicate it, analyze it, out-think it, out-run it. Every one of these maneuvers, whatever its surface sophistication, is the same maneuver: the attempt to manage the world of things – to find better content, better meaning, better solutions. And every one of these maneuvers draws its instructions from exactly one source: the past. What we already know. Our conditioning – the archive of everything that has previously worked, previously failed, previously been feared. This includes even the psychodynamic process, albeit to a lesser degree and with greater power of creative renewal. The fixing mind is by construction a retrospective mind. It cannot propose anything it has not, in some form, already met.

This is where the contemplative claim acquires, unexpectedly, a scientific spine. In the predictive-processing account of brain function associated with Karl Friston’s free-energy principle, the brain is not a passive receiver of the world but a ceaseless generator of predictions about it, correcting itself only where reality forces the issue. Perception itself is controlled hallucination disciplined by error; what we experience is largely what we expect, and what we expect is what we have been. Our priors – the accumulated weightings of a lifetime – are the riverbed through which every new moment is channeled. Suffering, in this light, is often not a problem in the riverbed but a problem of the riverbed: the predictions themselves have become the prison, and every effortful attempt to fix, cope, and solve is executed by the very machinery that is malfunctioning – and reinforces it with each execution. It is as if one lived a nightmare and attempted to liberate oneself from it by improving it, instead of waking up from it.

Now watch what the fourth layer does. To sit in profound not-knowing and non-doing – to genuinely surrender the project of fixing – is to withdraw, deliberately and radically, our investment in prediction. It is to stop feeding the priors. It is to suspend the entire retrospective apparatus and expose awareness, undefended, to what the machinery would otherwise have filtered out: the unexpected. The genuinely unexpected – which at first presents itself as noise, as nonsense, as seemingly meaningless and even seemingly mad. This is why the initial territory of the deep layer is so unattractive, and why almost everyone turns back: it is nihility – the cold vertigo of groundlessness, the discovery that beneath the stories there is no floor, the realization that beneath all existence is death and non-existence. The Kyoto School philosopher Keiji Nishitani made precisely this distinction: nihility is the abyss that opens when meaning collapses, when we are faced with the absurd and unacceptable, and stare in the abyss of forsakenness; nothingness is the spacious and generative groundlessness that arises when instead of being fled, nihility is passed through and inhabited until it turns transparent, and the duality of nihility and consciousness are transcended; emptiness is how nothingness lovingly manifests within the web of interdependence of all things. Nihility experienced against existence and life is despair. Nihility consented to, all the way down, opens into a fullness of being that owes nothing to content.

And in that fullness, something happens that no amount of fixing could have produced. The unexpected material – the nonsensical, the unbidden, the apparently crazy – is allowed to play itself out on the widest theater the mind possesses: the spaciousness of stillness and silence. Nothing is grasped, so nothing is prematurely shaped by the old grasping patterns. Connections form that no conditioning would have permitted, because the conditioning has been placed, for once, out of the loop. And from this – not from advice, logic or interpretation – solutions arise that no one supplied. They are not deduced. They are not remembered. They arise, spontaneously, from the depth of unknowing, the way a forgotten name surfaces only after we stop hunting for it. The healing is not an achievement of the will. It is what the organism with its hundreds of thousands of years of evolution does by itself the moment the will, and with it the censor, finally get out of the way.

This is why emptiness heals where effort fails: effort can only rearrange the known, and the known is what is making us ill.

VIII. The Practice of Subtraction

The contemplative traditions converged on this discovery from every direction, which should give the skeptic pause. The Daoists called it wu wei – non-doing, the effectiveness that flows precisely from the abandonment of forcing. Meister Eckhart called it Gelassenheit – equanimity, the letting-be that lets God be, and insisted that the soul must become empty even of its images of God. The apophatic theologians built an entire method on unsaying, holding that the deepest truths are approached only by the systematic negation of everything sayable. Keats, in a letter to his brothers, named the same capacity in the artist: negative capability, the power of “being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason.” And Wilfred Bion, from inside psychoanalysis itself, gave the fourth layer its most austere clinical formulation: the analyst should enter each session without memory or desire – without memory, because memory drags the past across the present; without desire, because desire (even the desire to cure) forecloses what has not yet emerged. Sigmund Freud commented in a similar vein on the psychoanalytic process. Both Bion and Freud understood that the analyst’s knowing is the patient’s ceiling.

Note what all of these are: not techniques of addition but disciplines of subtraction. They train the one capacity our culture never trains – the capacity to refrain and unknow. To not reach. To not know. To not do. And they are training in the strictest sense, for nothing is more difficult. Any beginner can add a practice; it takes years to subtract the practitioner. The muscles of grasping are the oldest muscles we have – they were laid down before language, in an organism whose survival once genuinely depended on ceaseless prediction – and they do not release because we understand, intellectually, that they should. They release only through the long apprenticeship of sitting, again and again, at the edge of the groundless, and discovering, again and again, that the ground was never what was holding us up.

This is also why the fourth layer cannot be counterfeited. Advice can be memorized, reframes can be scripted, even interpretations can be imitated. But a silence is either inhabited or it is not, and the nervous system of the sufferer knows the difference instantly. The only preparation for offering nothing is to have become, oneself, at home in emptiness.

IX. Nothing to Say, Nothing to Solve

So, we arrive at the formula, which reads as despair to the first layer and as freedom to the fourth:

Nothing to say. Nothing to solve. Nothing to do. Nowhere to go. Nobody to be.

Read from the surface, each clause is a door slamming. Nothing to say – the failure of comfort. Nothing to solve – the failure of intelligence. Nothing to do – the failure of agency. Nowhere to go – the failure of escape. Nobody to be – the failure of identity itself. This is the reading the frightened mind performs, and it is why the frightened mind fights so hard at the threshold.

Read from the depth, each clause is a door opening. Nothing to say – and so, at last, the end of the exhausting performance of commentary; the world permitted to be what it is before our verdicts. Nothing to solve – and so the end of life as an emergency; the discovery that this moment, whatever it holds, is not a problem awaiting our administration. Nothing to do – and so the release of the doer, the laying down of a burden carried so long it had been mistaken for a spine. Nowhere to go – and so, for the first time, actual arrival; the only moment ever available, no longer a corridor to a better one. Nobody to be – and so the end of the project of the self, the maintenance of that laborious character we perform even in private; and in its place not a void but an intimacy, an aliveness without an owner, the anonymous awareness in which everything has been appearing all along, the realization that we are the universe unfolding.

The clauses are identical. Only the depth of the reader has changed. And that, finally, is the whole teaching: healing is not the improvement of the story, the mood, or even the self. Healing is the migration of the reader – from the layer where nothing is a wound to the layer where nothing is the medicine.

We spend our lives asking suffering to leave. Suffering was asking us to arrive.

Copyright © 2026 by Dr. Stéphane Treyvaud. All rights reserved.

Silicon Dreams. Carbon Amnesia.

We stand at a peculiar crossroads in history: transfixed by the spectacle of silicon minds assembling themselves from human thought, we have turned our gaze outward toward the machine – and in doing so, turned away from something infinitely stranger and more wondrous. The neuron firing in your visual cortex as you read these words has been refined by 500 million years of ruthless experimentation.

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July 2, 2026

I. The Blind Spot

We stand at a peculiar crossroads in history: transfixed by the spectacle of silicon minds assembling themselves from human thought, we have turned our gaze outward toward the machine – and in doing so, turned away from something infinitely stranger and more wondrous. The neuron firing in your visual cortex as you read these words has been refined by 500 million years of ruthless experimentation. It speaks simultaneously in electrochemical gradients, synaptic geometry, glial whispers, epigenetic memory, and the mysterious way it feels to be you – a language so layered that we have barely begun to translate it. Artificial intelligence, for all its breathtaking mimicry, is a shadow cast by the organic: flat, fast, and legible precisely because it has been stripped of the irreducible complexity that makes life alive. The real frontier was never the one we built. It is the one we inhabit – and have barely looked at. The real moral concern is not AI’s consciousness, as it will forever just be a machine; it is the irreducibly different organic world of biology – life. Substrate matters.

* * *

II. The Flight from the Organic

And yet, rather than turn toward that complexity, we are doubling down on the flight from it. Somewhere deep in the cultural psyche, an ancient archetype is running – a Noah’s Ark for the digital age: the dream that we can load our minds onto servers, colonize Mars, and outrun the fate of being mortal, embodied, and organic. It is a fantasy that the laws of physics greet with indifference. Mars is not an oversight in our evolutionary story; it is simply not within the conditions that made us possible. We are not minds that happen to have bodies. We are bodies that learned to think – and the thinking cannot survive the abandonment of the substrate. 

Meanwhile, mindfulness – which might have been the corrective, the return to the full-bodied, right-hemispheric, emptiness-rooted intelligence that the organism actually runs on – has been quietly colonized by the same left-brain agenda it was meant to interrupt. Stripped of its contemplative roots in what I have coined Core Mind Realigning, it has been repackaged as a cognitive performance tool: stress reduction by spreadsheet, attention training as productivity hack. MBSR, as it is now commonly taught, too often becomes another exercise in mental management rather than a genuine rewiring of the organism’s relationship to itself. The silence at the center – the emptiness that is not absence but generative ground – has been edited out. What remains is technique without transformation: the map sold in place of the territory. Even technique is routinely taught superficially as many of my students coming from elsewhere attest – stripped of the exacting, unhurried rigour that navigating the infinite complexity of the mind demands. Too many practitioners have become more invested in the reductive confidence of evidence-based orthodoxy than in the kind of authentic human engagement that makes living transmission possible. But the deeper problem is one of timescale. The journey toward liberation from suffering is not a course. It is a lifelong apprenticeship – and the willingness to commit to it without horizon is not incidental to the path; it is the path. This is a principle Core Mind Realigning holds at its centre – with rigour, precision and commitment. It is no surprise, then, that people who complete a time-limited MBSR program without further training remain essentially untrained, unable to sustain a meaningful daily practice – because transformation is not an outcome. It is a way of living, a way of patiently walking the thousand-year journey and notice improvement.

* * *

III. The Complexity We Cannot Build

Consider what forgetting life with its organic substrate actually costs. Despite centuries of biochemistry, we have not yet assembled a single living cell from its chemical constituents – not one. The cell remains, in this precise technical sense, beyond us: a self-organizing, self-repairing, meaning-making system of such staggering intricacy that our most sophisticated laboratories can only observe it, never truly replicate it from the ground up. Even if we eventually construct something that qualifies as a living cell, what it would lack is not an ingredient but a history – and four billion years of unbroken evolutionary inheritance is not a detail that any laboratory procedure can retrospectively install. And the cell is merely the beginning. Trees negotiate resource-sharing through fungal networks with a sophistication that shames our internet. Animals navigate, grieve, play, and remember in ways that suggest an interior life we have only begun to take seriously. Ecosystems regulate climate, water, atmosphere, and fertility through feedback loops so interdependent that we cannot yet model them fully – only disturb them. And disturb them we have. Roughly 70% of insect biomass has disappeared within living memory, quietly and almost without public mourning, even though the loss of insects would mean the collapse of the terrestrial ecosystem. The organic world – the only world that actually made us – is being unmade, and we are largely looking elsewhere. Time matters, evolution matters, nature matters – replanted forests have little in common with old growth jungles. Just as a rich broth cannot be hurried – only tended, over hours, until what was raw and separate becomes nourishment – so the untamed processes of the mind yield their healing secrets only under the slow, sustained heat of trained awareness.

This is not only an ecological crisis. It is a crisis of attention – and perhaps, at its root, a crisis of wonder. Where is the mindfulness project equal to this moment? Not the one that teaches you to breathe through a difficult meeting, but the one that rekindles genuine passion for what we are made of – that positions the practitioner not merely as a calmer self, but as a custodian of biological heritage and wisdom. The original invitation of contemplative practice was never stress reduction as its core; it was the direct investigation of the nature of mind and reality – including the emptiness at the heart of both. Quantum biology is now finding that coherence, superposition, and non-locality are not metaphors when applied to living systems – they may be operational realities at the cellular level. The void is not outside biology. It may be biology’s deepest mechanism.

* * *

IV. The Left-Hemisphere Civilization

And what happens to the collective mind when this dimension is foreclosed – when a civilization becomes, structurally and habitually, a left-hemisphere operation? The results are not difficult to observe, and they are not accidental. The left hemisphere, as McGilchrist has meticulously documented, is not unintelligent – it is narrowly, brilliantly, dangerously competent. It categorizes, systematizes, and controls with extraordinary efficiency. What it cannot do is hold complexity without resolving it, tolerate paradox without collapsing it, or remain in relationship with what resists being named. When it becomes the dominant mode of a civilization – not merely a tool but the operating system – the dire consequences ripple outward into every domain of collective life.

Politics becomes the first casualty. Discourse that was once capable of holding tension – the irreducible tension between liberty and solidarity, tradition and renewal, the individual and the commons – hardens into opposed and irreconcilable certainties. Each side constructs an internally consistent worldview devoid of common sense, a closed epistemic system that processes only confirming data and experiences disconfirmation not as information but as attack. This is not disagreement. Disagreement requires a shared ground. What we are witnessing is something closer to parallel realities – each one coherent from within, each one increasingly unable to perceive the other as fully human. Dehumanization does not begin with violence. It begins with the foreclosure of ambiguity.

Religion (from Latin ‘re-ligio’ meaning ‘re-connection’), which at its contemplative root was always an encounter with what cannot be controlled – the groundlessness beneath ground, the silence beneath thought – gets conscripted into the left hemisphere’s project. Mystery becomes doctrine. Paradox becomes heresy. The apophatic tradition, which knew that the deepest truths can only be approached by unsaying, is replaced by literalism: sacred texts read as mindless instruction manuals, transcendence repackaged as tribal identity. God becomes a flag. The infinite becomes a weapon. And those who wield it do so with the serene confidence of people who have mistaken the map for the territory so completely that they have forgotten a territory ever existed.

Power displaces respect because respect requires the recognition of an interior life in the other – and that recognition is a right-hemisphere act. When the right hemisphere’s contribution is diminished, the other becomes a category before they become a person: a demographic, a threat vector, an ideological position. Empathy does not disappear entirely – but it narrows, becomes tribal, and then, in one of the more tragic ironies of our moment, turns against itself in suicidal inevitability. What begins as genuine moral sensitivity curdles, under left-hemisphere management, into a performance of sensitivity – competitive, punitive, and ultimately self-consuming. The result is the tyranny of division, entitlement and indoctrination. Truth becomes dangerous, because it is routinely inconvenient and offensive to the spineless – then gets replaced by the scourge of political correctness. Cultures begin auditing their own histories not with the nuanced grief of people trying to integrate a difficult past, but with the prosecutorial zeal of systems seeking to purge contamination. Here again, the substrate is forgotten, history is forgotten, the sense of identity lost. The result is not healing. It is a new form of the same splitting: the world divided again into pure and impure, victim and oppressor, the saved and the condemned, with the terms simply reversed.

Polarization deepens not because human nature has changed but because the cultural and technological environment now systematically rewards the left hemisphere’s preferred mode: fast, certain, categorical, and emotionally activating in the most reductive sense. Social media does not merely reflect the divided mind – it selects for it, amplifies it, and profits from it. The algorithm has no investment in wisdom. It has an investment in engagement, which is to say, in the kind of arousal that forecloses reflection. We have built, at civilizational scale, a machine that feeds the part of us least capable of governing wisely – and then expressed bewilderment at the quality of our governance.

What is missing – what has always been missing from political discourse conducted entirely within the left hemisphere’s jurisdiction – is the capacity McGilchrist calls 'Aufhebung': The ability to hold opposites in a higher synthesis without destroying either pole. This is not compromise in the weak sense – the splitting of differences – but genuine dialectical movement, the kind that requires sitting with discomfort long enough for something new to emerge. It is, not coincidentally, precisely what contemplative practice trains. The still point is not politically neutral. The capacity to remain present with what is unresolved, to resist the premature closure of complexity into slogan – this is a civic faculty as much as a personal one. Its absence is not just a spiritual problem. It is a governance crisis.

* * *

V. The Return

And yet – and this is the turn that neither the political left nor right can quite bring itself to make – the remedy is not more analysis. It is not a better ideology, a more refined critique, or a superior epistemic framework. The left hemisphere cannot think its way out of dominant left-hemispheric insanity. The exit is not through the same door. What is required is a return – not a nostalgic one, but a radical one, in the original sense of radix: root. A return to the substrate. To the body that breathes without being asked. To the forest floor where a single teaspoon of soil contains more microbial organisms than there are human beings on earth. To the silence that is not the absence of noise but the generative presence of something prior to noise – the ground state from which experience arises and to which, in deep practice, it returns.

This is what the organic world has always been quietly offering. Not consolation. Not escape. But scale – the humbling, orienting scale of a complexity so vast and so intimate that it cannot be othered. You cannot stand in genuine relationship with an old-growth forest, with the mycelial network threading beneath your feet, with the migratory intelligence of a bird navigating by magnetic field and star – and remain entirely inside the left hemisphere’s jurisdiction. Something shifts. The boundary between self and world becomes, not dissolved, but permeable. This is not mysticism as an add-on to biology. This is biology, perceived at the depth it deserves.

The contemplative traditions knew this long before neuroscience had the instruments to confirm it. The Zen master pointing at the moon was not making a metaphysical claim – he was performing a corrective, redirecting attention from the symbol to the thing, from the map to the living territory. The Buddhist teaching on śūnyatā – emptiness – was never a nihilistic statement about the unreality of the world. It was a precise phenomenological observation: that all phenomena, including the self, arise interdependently, without fixed essence, in a web of mutual conditionality that modern ecology recognizes under a different name. The Buddha and the mycologist are, at some level, describing the same discovery. The cell membrane and the Markov blanket are, at some level, encoding the same ancient problem: where does self end and world begin, and what does it mean that the answer is always – here, and not quite here.

Core Mind Realigning we practice in our meditation programs at The Mindfulness Centre – the full-spectrum return to embodied, right-hemisphere-inclusive, emptiness-rooted awareness – is not, then, a wellness intervention. It is a reorientation to reality. It asks not merely “how do I manage my stress” but “what am I, actually, and what world am I embedded in.” It trains the capacity to tolerate not-knowing long enough for genuine knowing to arise – the kind that includes the body, the relational field, the silence beneath thought, the intricate aliveness of the organism that has been, all along, doing something far more extraordinary than anything we have yet programmed a machine to do.

* * *

VI. The Frontier We Forgot

We are not at the dawn of intelligence. We are, if anything, at a moment of reckoning with how much of it we have ignored. The intelligence that assembled the human eye, that coordinates the immune response, that allows a murmuration of starlings to move as a single fluid mind without a conductor – this intelligence does not fit in a prompt. It does not run on servers. It also does not require the optional imaginative maneuver of engaging in an intimate relationship with a divine creator. It ‘simply’, yet astoundingly runs on carbon, water, time, and a set of thermodynamic constraints so precise that the margin for life, in the universe we can observe, appears almost impossibly narrow. We are that margin. We are what happened when matter became curious about itself – and the least we owe that fact is attention.

The mindfulness project, at its fullest, is nothing less than this: the cultivation of a quality of attention adequate to the complexity we actually inhabit. Not the attention that optimizes, extracts, and moves on – but the attention that stays, that deepens, that allows the world to become strange and specific and irreplaceable again. The trees are still communicating. The genome is still, in every cell division, copying three billion base pairs with an error rate that would humiliate any human engineer. The glia are still doing something in the brain that we do not yet fully understand. The emptiness at the heart of matter is still – against all our productivity – simply here and, if you prefer, simply God in its incomprehensible essence. God does not have to be posited separately. This very ordinary embodied moment is extraordinary beyond imagination when we know how to look closely – it is God’s magnificent incarnation. 

We did not need to build a mind. We need to inhabit the embodied one we have – and wake up, at last, to the world it arose from.

Copyright © 2026 by Dr. Stéphane Treyvaud. All rights reserved.

Automaticity of the human mind

Human function, action, cognition and behavior under the lens of automaticity

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May 22, 2025

Every novice meditator must understand the mind’s inherent automaticity, forged over eons of evolution to secure survival. The brain, the most intricate structure in the known universe, gives rise to the mind, whose elaborate workings unfold as the most profound phenomenon we can encounter. This complexity reveals our vast potential for self-deception, emphasizing the urgent need to avoid harmful habits early in practice. Cultivating a precise and resilient technical foundation is vital for navigating the mind’s labyrinthine depths. Let us briefly explore the scope of this automaticity, a formidable force we confront as we seek to understand our lives.

Estimating the exact percentage of human action and functioning that is automatic and not conscious is tricky, as it depends on how we define "action," "functioning," and "conscious." However, research in psychology and neuroscience suggests that a significant portion of human behavior and physiological processes operates outside conscious awareness.

1.     Physiological Functions: Most bodily processes—like heart rate, breathing, digestion, and reflexes—are automatic and controlled by the autonomic nervous system. These account for the vast majority of "functioning" in terms of rawprocesses. If we consider all bodily functions (including cellular processes),conscious control might apply to less than 1% of total activity, as most biological operations are involuntary.

2.  Behavioral and Cognitive Actions: When it comes to behavior, decision-making, and cognition, studies suggest that a large portion is driven by automatic processes:

- Psychologist Daniel Kahneman, in his work on System 1 (fast, automatic) and System 2 (slow, deliberate) thinking, suggeststhat System 1 dominates much of our daily behavior. Estimates vary, but someresearchers propose that 95% or more of cognitive processes (e.g., snapjudgments, habits, and intuitive reactions) are automatic.

- Studies on priming and implicit bias (e.g., by John Bargh) show that many decisions, from simple motor actions to complex social behaviors, are influenced by unconscious cues.

- Habitual behaviors, like driving a familiarroute or typing, often occur with minimal conscious input once learned.

3.     Conscious vs. Unconscious Balance: While no precise percentage is universally agreed upon, some neuroscientists estimate that 90–95% of brain activity is unconscious, based on the volume of neural processes handling sensory input, motor control, and background cognition. Conscious actions—like deliberateproblem-solving or focused attention—make up a smaller fraction, perhaps 5–10%of mental activity.

Rough General Estimate: If we combine physiologicaland behavioral aspects, roughly 90–95% of human "action and functioning" (broadly defined) is likely automatic and not conscious. Thisvaries by context—routine tasks lean more automatic, while novel or complex tasksrequire more conscious effort.

Copyright © 2025 by Dr. Stéphane Treyvaud. All rights reserved.

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