No Doubt – Meditation Is Complex And Not For The Faint Of Heart

Mindfulness and the complexity of Meditation.

Contrary to common views, meditation is not only not simple, but also not easy – just check the Abhidhamma for example, the core of Buddhist psychology, if you don’t believe me. ‘Just’ paying attention to the breath, for example – sounds easy enough. What’s so difficult about that? Well, having taught and accompanied hundreds of students very closely on their path, I can tell you that the easiest of instruction becomes for most people a major challenge. My first meditation teacher, the Zen master Karlfried Graf Duerckheim, once told me years ago that it took him twenty years to begin to understand and be able to get out of the way of his breath. Many traditions have refined the exploration of the mind to the umpteenth degree, and there is no escaping the infinite complexity of reality we encounter once we dive deeply into the embodied mind.

An instruction may sound simple: “Bring your attention to the somatic sensations of the movement of your breath in the region of your lower belly”, and yet there is no shortage of complexities and complications that arise as soon as the instruction is heard. Despite hearing those exact words, many simply don’t actually do what the instruction says – for example, they think about the breath or begin to create images of the breath instead. They may focus on the breath, but without the required attitude of curiosity, openness, acceptance, and love. They try to focus, but soon lose it and end up lost in some non-conscious la-la-land. They cannot withstand the many experience intrusions of the wide field of awareness as time passes and don’t know what to do with the myriads of challenges the mind throws their way. In week 9 of our 12-week mindfulness meditation courses, in which we teach in detail method, technique, and scientific evidence for what we do, one participant commented that she did not enjoy paying attention to her breath, that she didn’t practice it, and that by the way, she couldn’t understand the point of doing such a thing. As a teacher, you wonder what tortuous complexities imprison this person’s mind to the point of almost complete obliviousness to weeks of teaching. Yes, this is an extreme example, but I could go on and on giving you more of those examples unfolding on more or less subtle levels of energy flow, eventually leading to the person’s giving up on the practice.

Meditating, or more broadly speaking developing mindsight (a term coined by Daniel Siegel to describe the ability to clearly see one’s own and other people’s minds), is one of the most difficult journeys you’ll ever undertake – complex, difficult, and challenging. These days, in our era of easy soundbites we mistake for knowledge, frivolously facile simplicity we mistake for reality, and easily available quick fixes that mask the fundamental rot at the core of our being, nobody wants to hear about challenge and difficulty. We want instant quick fixes, we want things to be easy without having to invest our whole being into it. Apps and the internet facilitate that illusion – myriads of free guided meditations giving you the impression you won’t have to sweat it: ‘Bite-sized meditations for busy schedules’, ‘It only takes a few minutes to change your life’, ‘Download your free one-minute meditation guide!’, etc. These may be solid nets to catch the unsuspecting fish who has never heard of mindfulness. But in the end, that’s only the beginning of a long and arduous journey, not the destination as many people erroneously believe. The drop-out rate of people beginning to explore mindfulness and eventually giving up is impressive, and that’s a pity. Superficial curiosity and infatuation are easy, but walking through the mud of a lifelong conditioned mind is a different story.

Meditation must not only be practiced but also studied. As in all endeavors that entail the discoveries of a new discipline, in meditation we encounter things, energy flows, realities, and phenomena for which we had no words and words for which we have no experience to match. Words for new discoveries need to be coined and learned. To competently use our tools we have to know them intimately and master their use. As opposed to centuries ago, when all that was available to understand reality was self-exploration, sensory examination, literature, religion, and philosophy, we now have science that completes our picture of reality. The theory and practice of meditation are now unthinkable without scientific knowledge, which has deeply enriched our comprehension of who we may be, the universe, and reality at large.

For some students who are new to this, the necessity of having to engage the conceptual mind can feel ‘theoretical’, unsure as to how it relates to the direct experience of meditation practice. The 2-part article entitled ‘Find Your Answers In Your Speech‘ tries to address this dilemma by showing how seemingly innocuous questions posed by a student in an email entail all the answers the student is looking for if only we can learn to look beyond appearances, hear with the third ear and read between the lines of our cherished stories.

At the core of mastering the art of navigating life’s difficulties with flexibility, tenacity, and resilience like an elegant dance, and to live life being ‘free and easy in the marketplace’ as they say in Zen, is the capacity to regulate our energy flow. But do we have access to that capacity?

The organism that we are (not the body that we have) is always self-regulating on its own without ‘your’ permission or participation, I am happy to say. If evolution had relied on ‘your’ judgment to ensure survival, humanity would have never evolved past the earthworm stage. However, evolution bestowed on us our human consciousness, the capacity to think about how we think about our world, and with it the power to bungle everything up by choosing unwise actions against nature’s well established ‘wisdom’ of many tens of thousands of years, thereby interfering with our health and sanity. The main reason for that lies in our algorithmic nature resulting in a degree of automatism so extensive we can barely fathom. Way over 90% of what we believe to be free, conscious decisions in our lives, from what car we buy to what mate we chose, are in fact automatically decided for us by this organism that we are, only leaving us with the illusion to have been in control. Creating messes is not only easy but unfortunately for the most part our default setting, ironically captured in the Bible, which tells us that it only takes about 10 pages to get ourselves into such unspeakable messes, then roughly 1342 pages to get out of them. Evolution is ruthless in its drive and insistence on survival, and as the genie of consciousness has now escaped the bottle, never to be put back again, we can botch things up as much as we want – our organism will always ensure survival at all costs. But survival is not thriving. Live we will, one way or another, and our organism will regulate energy flow one way or another, with, without or despite our unwise participation; the result will always be the survival of as many human specimens as possible under ever worse conditions until the ecosystem that sustains us collapses under our ignorant stewardship. The earth and evolution don’t care one bit as our species may disappear like an afterthought into the dustbin of history, an interesting cosmic experiment gone wrong.

The sapiens curse is what I just described, our inherited ability to interfere with nature and the organism’s spontaneous regulation without the necessary experience to do so, or possessing a powerful consciousness we allow to be largely ruled by conditioned automatic reflexes we are completely unaware of. Luckily (although not necessarily accessible enough to save our species), our consciousness and the brain/body connected to it also harbor a gold mine, physically manifest as the medial prefrontal cortex (MPC), psychologically as the capacity to be mindful and develop mindsight, which can expand the notion of regulation to a whole new level. This is where mindfulness meditation comes in. But here is the rub: For millennia experienced teachers in this field have known how difficult it is. Buddha said that you must want liberation more than a drowning man wants air to be successful. Jesus talked about the many who are called (everybody wants to feel better and stop suffering …) and the few who are chosen (… but few actually have the stamina to embark on this arduous path). More recently
Dr. Moskowitz put it in the acronym ‘MIRROR’:

There can be no doubt that this is hard work, promising more ‘blood, tears, toil and sweat’ than a walk in the park. Why? The answer is quite simple: Because we are wired for autopilot, not to command wisdom on our destiny. To thrive in our age beyond the dangers of lurking predators behind the bushes means something profoundly new for the human species – namely the complex task of harnessing the power of our MPC to steer our algorithm into new directions never before trodden, the capacity to resist certain automatisms and replace them with wise and skillful action. This is a 1000-year journey requiring 10 years, 10 thousand hours of intensely motivated inquiry, research, practice, and implementation.

Copyright © 2018 by Dr. Stéphane Treyvaud. All rights reserved.

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Automaticity of the human mind

Human function, action, cognition and behavior under the lens of automaticity

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May 22, 2025

Every novice meditator must understand the mind’s inherent automaticity, forged over eons of evolution to secure survival. The brain, the most intricate structure in the known universe, gives rise to the mind, whose elaborate workings unfold as the most profound phenomenon we can encounter. This complexity reveals our vast potential for self-deception, emphasizing the urgent need to avoid harmful habits early in practice. Cultivating a precise and resilient technical foundation is vital for navigating the mind’s labyrinthine depths. Let us briefly explore the scope of this automaticity, a formidable force we confront as we seek to understand our lives.

Estimating the exact percentage of human action and functioning that is automatic and not conscious is tricky, as it depends on how we define "action," "functioning," and "conscious." However, research in psychology and neuroscience suggests that a significant portion of human behavior and physiological processes operates outside conscious awareness.

1.     Physiological Functions: Most bodily processes—like heart rate, breathing, digestion, and reflexes—are automatic and controlled by the autonomic nervous system. These account for the vast majority of "functioning" in terms of rawprocesses. If we consider all bodily functions (including cellular processes),conscious control might apply to less than 1% of total activity, as most biological operations are involuntary.

2.  Behavioral and Cognitive Actions: When it comes to behavior, decision-making, and cognition, studies suggest that a large portion is driven by automatic processes:

- Psychologist Daniel Kahneman, in his work on System 1 (fast, automatic) and System 2 (slow, deliberate) thinking, suggeststhat System 1 dominates much of our daily behavior. Estimates vary, but someresearchers propose that 95% or more of cognitive processes (e.g., snapjudgments, habits, and intuitive reactions) are automatic.

- Studies on priming and implicit bias (e.g., by John Bargh) show that many decisions, from simple motor actions to complex social behaviors, are influenced by unconscious cues.

- Habitual behaviors, like driving a familiarroute or typing, often occur with minimal conscious input once learned.

3.     Conscious vs. Unconscious Balance: While no precise percentage is universally agreed upon, some neuroscientists estimate that 90–95% of brain activity is unconscious, based on the volume of neural processes handling sensory input, motor control, and background cognition. Conscious actions—like deliberateproblem-solving or focused attention—make up a smaller fraction, perhaps 5–10%of mental activity.

Rough General Estimate: If we combine physiologicaland behavioral aspects, roughly 90–95% of human "action and functioning" (broadly defined) is likely automatic and not conscious. Thisvaries by context—routine tasks lean more automatic, while novel or complex tasksrequire more conscious effort.

Copyright © 2025 by Dr. Stéphane Treyvaud. All rights reserved.

What is it like to be a fly?

An everyday journey from existential nihility to radiant emptiness.

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May 15, 2025

I am drawing upon an instance from my everyday life to illuminate for my students how mindfulness practice in general, and the Mindsight Intensive curriculum in particular—which traces the trajectory of human existence through being and nihility towards absolute nothingness and emptiness—invites us to expand awareness in a very practical way as real, lived reality.

A substantial aspect of this undertaking entails familiarizing oneself with the differences between the realities shaped by the left and right hemispheres of the brain—most notably, the profound insight that the right hemisphere directly presents and reveals reality, whereas the left merely re-presents it as a simplified map of what truly exists.

With this understanding, I explored two contrasting linguistic approaches to articulate the experience: the descriptive, technical language of the left brain, rooted in an 'objective' yet inherently limited perspective, and the imaginative, vivid, and richly contextual language of the right brain, grounded in an embodied, more open-ended viewpoint. The single quotation marks around 'objective' highlight a neurophysiological truth: the brain never perceives reality impartially. Instead, its perceptions are shaped by a drive for certainty, manifested through value judgments that prioritize survival.

My hope is that this exploration may deepen my students’ understanding of the intricate human journey toward wholeness.

1. Left brain perspective

For several consecutive early spring days, a single, distinctive fly appeared to relish the bright sunlight illuminating my bathroom. We have grown familiar, coexisting as two entities engaged in our respective routines. I designate her as "she"—perhaps influenced by the feminine grammatical gender of la mouche (French), la mosca (Italian), and die Fliege (German)—an intuitive attribution rather than a biological assertion. She occasionally positions herself on the curtain railing above my bathtub, observing as I shower. More frequently, she rests on the windowsill, tracking my movements as I shave, and at times briefly alights on my hair for a few seconds. I have been aware of her presence throughout, akin to an inquisitive cohabitant sharing this confined space, but today I intentionally sought a deeper engagement.

She was once again stationed on the windowsill, basking in the sunlight, as I shaved. I approached closely, examining her large, compound eyes, and posed the question, “What is it like to be a fly?” Initially, my cognition activated a predictable analytical response, retrieving stored knowledge about her physiology: a head encasing a compact brain; expansive, multifaceted eyes affording a broad visual field; antennae functioning as olfactory and gustatory sensors; specialized mouthparts adapted for sponging or piercing-sucking; a thorax anchoring six articulated legs, rapid wings, and club-shaped halteres for flight stabilization; and an abdomen housing digestive and reproductive systems, concealed from view. Her exoskeleton, black with muted grey striations, bore a subtle, fur-like texture, as though she had ornamented herself for this encounter—a sizable specimen, impossible to ignore.

Yet, I deliberately suspended this intellectual framework, opting instead to engage her in a silent, receptive state. My question became more personal and changed to “what is it like to be you”? I consciously down-regulated the default mode network—the neural substrate of self-referential thought—relinquishing the ego’s persistent drive to assert its permanence. This ego, in its dualistic framework, projects constructed identities onto the external ‘other’, rendering her so alien that I might, without reflection, swat her away, extinguishing a life deemed insignificant, irritating, or even repellent by that limited perspective.

In this shift, a different entity began to emerge within my awareness—not a mere object, but a presence actively relating to me, exhibiting a form of consciousness distinct yet perceptible. Her curiosity, perhaps reciprocal, prompted her to take flight and settle briefly on my hair. I remained immobile, registering the faint tactile sensation of her tentative exploration of my surface—an interaction probing my identity as much as I sought hers. The contact was transient; she soon returned to the windowsill, fixing her gaze upon me. I speculated that she might, in her own unknowable way, ponder a parallel question: “What is it like to be this massive, terrestrial organism, incapable of flight, beyond my capacity to name?” The perceived separation—me here, her there—dissolved into a unified ‘we’, marked by a tangible exchange of vitality through our shared, living awareness. Though our modes of consciousness diverge, they intersect intimately, each of us enacting existence according to our inherent capacities. Together, we participated in a dynamic interplay, a microcosm of the universe’s unfolding, so affecting that tears briefly surfaced, reflecting regret for the countless instances of inattentiveness lost to automaticity.

This encounter with such a remarkable organism illuminated a progression of awareness. Initially, I had navigated the ‘dark night of the soul’—a dualistic state of nihility, a relative nothingness characterized by existential desolation and the collapse of meaning within a self-other framework. Beyond this, I accessed a non-dual absolute nothingness, a broader mode of awareness where subject-object distinctions dissolve into a unified field of being, devoid of relational constructs. Yet, this was not the terminus; it opened into emptiness—the ultimate awareness mode, a boundless, vibrant expanse where the extraordinary manifests within the ordinary flux of daily existence. This state, achieved through direct presence with this fly, surpasses any chemically induced psychedelic experience in its clarity and depth, revealing a profound interconnectedness inherent in the fabric of life, the extraordinariness of ordinary existence. No answer could ever come close to the tantalizing peace of timeless questions.

2. Right brain vantage point

For several radiant spring mornings, a singular, remarkable fly has basked in the golden sunlight flooding my bathroom. We have become familiar companions, each merrily tending to our daily rites. At times, she—yes, she, anointed feminine by the lilting echoes of la mouche, la mosca, die Fliege, a soft intuition humming through language—perches atop the curtain railing above my bathtub, a silent witness to my shower’s misty veil. More often, she lingers on the windowsill, her gaze fixed upon me as I shave, now and then darting to alight for a fleeting instant upon my hair. I’ve felt her presence all along—a curious housemate in this shared sanctuary—but today, I vowed to bridge the chasm between us.

There she rested once more, cradled in the sun’s warm embrace upon the windowsill, watching me wield my razor with quiet intent. I leaned closer, peering into her vast, prismatic eyes—kaleidoscopes of a secret world—and murmured, “What is it like to be a fly?” At first, my mind thrummed with the familiar pulse of knowledge: her head, a miniature cathedral of instinct; those grand, jeweled eyes unveiling a boundless vista; antennae, fragile wands of scent and savor; mouthparts sculpted for sipping or piercing; her thorax, a delicate frame bearing six crooked legs, wings that shimmer with thunderous speed, and halteres, poised like a dancer’s plumb line; her abdomen, a veiled chamber of life’s mysteries. She gleamed, black as night with faint grey stripes, her form cloaked in a gossamer sheen, as though she’d adorned herself for this tender rendezvous.

This time, like as many other times as I can possibly honour in daily life, I let this torrent of facts dissolve, beckoning her to meet me in the hush of silence. The question changed to become more personal: “What is it like to be you?” I stilled the restless clamor of my mind, loosening the ego’s tenacious hold—that brittle self, desperate to cling to its mirage of eternity, casting endless conceptual shadows upon the being before me. So remote she might appear, I could, in a careless flicker, swat her away, deeming her life a trifling annoyance, a speck of disdain. But no—a different essence began to bloom within my consciousness.

A presence unfurled, no longer separate but alive with me, awake in her own cryptic grace, her curiosity a mirror to my own. Suddenly, she soared, settling upon my hair. I stood statue-still, captivated by the faint tickle of her pilgrimage across my scalp, a gentle quest into the enigma of my existence. The moment was ephemeral; she soon returned to her sun-gilded throne, gazing back at me. Perhaps she mused, too: “What is it like to be this lumbering, wingless colossus, a riddle beyond my silent tongue?” The gulf between us—me here, her there—dissolved into a luminous we, tethered by a pulsing filament of shared aliveness. Our ways of knowing diverged, yet entwined, each of us threading life’s arc with singular devotion. Together, we spun a strand in the vast loom of the cosmos, a dance so piercing that tears brimmed in my eyes, lamenting a lifetime’s moments lost to the fog of unawareness.

In that tranquil void, beside this astonishing fly, I brushed against an abyss beyond sorrow—a stillness forged in the crucible of the soul’s dark night, rising into the infinite embrace of nothingness. From there, it was but a tender plunge into the world’s embrace, a surrender that let peaceful nothingness blossom into vibrant emptiness—a radiant field teeming with the miraculous veiled in the everyday. This quiet epiphany, outshining the wildest psychedelic odyssey imaginable, unveiled life’s timeless poetry: unspoken, extraordinary, woven into the ordinary cadence of days. The nameless question remains.

Copyright © 2025 by Dr. Stéphane Treyvaud. All rights reserved.

Searching Everywhere But Where It Counts

Forgetting that we have a mind.

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October 12, 2024

Before you worry about symptoms such as depression and anxiety and how to improve or get rid of them, before you get your blood boiling arguing with people who can't deal with anything beyond their own viewpoint, before you develop and become ensconced in your own opinions, before you vilify who disagrees with you, before you shake your head wondering how seemingly obvious facts cannot be agreed upon, before you assume you have no blind spots, before you despair that crowds never learn from history, before you become bitter at humanity's collective stupidity, before you get passionate about religion, mythology, and archetypes, before all that, wouldn't it make sense to inquire into the source of all of it - these symptoms, views, opinions, thoughts, actions, distortions and, frankly, miseries?

While it does not take rocket science to realize that the source of it all is the embodied human mind, for most, embarking on its exploration is at best a big challenge, at worst insurmountable, non-sensical or incomprehensible. How many times have you heard nonsense like “I don’t believe in psychology”, as if the existence of the moon were a matter of belief? How often do patients enter their physician’s office complaining of being anxious or depressed, and are sent home with a prescription without one question that would try to understand how their mind creates such suffering? Many people, including professionals who should know better, live and act as if they had no mind.

The mind is the source of all subjective phenomena and experiences, and we are astoundingly unaware of it. Our mind’s task is to ensure survival and the propagation of our species, not to ensure we live our best life. To this end, it needs to be efficient, rather than concerned about maximizing its potential. Efficiency results by pairing down information processing to the bare minimum. Embedded in the way mind functions are mechanisms that cause reality distortions, delusions, wild beliefs, and a profound obliviousness of one’s own ignorance. Whether we like it or not, our mind drives our lives like our heart pumps blood through our veins. The universe's natural processes have caused us to evolve that way, and for better or worse, we are stuck with a mind that functions sub-optimally as it creates profound reality distortions that seem at first blush to have successfully allowed us to multiply and propagate towards earth dominance. In the long run, however, it turns out that humanity may end up stampeding dangerously close to extinction. To thrive both individually and as a species we must come to terms with our rather dangerous mind and train ourselves to use it beyond its basic survival mode by accessing its inherent potential evolution has graciously also built into it. That takes work, training, effort and patience.

Our human mind provides the capacity for reflection. The mirror reflects what’s in front of it, meaning that as reality beams itself onto the mirror’s surface, the mirror beams it back to us as an image we can then examine from the outside. Notice how what gets examined by looking at the mirror is not reality itself, but an image of it. Our brain provides a similar process in the form of consciousness, whereby it maps reality in a virtual form we then can observe and manipulate. However, while the mirror reflects reality exactly as it is, the virtual reality consciousness creates is not only a map of reality, but that map is modified into a new creation. The brain as mapper functions as our central relationship organ that enables us to reflexively develop a relationship to reality and ourselves by having access to a virtual, mapped and modified reality we can ponder and manipulate. This is how we are self-aware.

As an aside, the mind is more than the creator of a virtual adaptation of reality we can reflexively relate to and have a relationship with. It can transcend self-awareness, and knowingly experience reality and awareness without the detour of mapped mirroring duality. That is the shift from observation to being, from knowing we exist in a universe to realizing we are the universe. More about that in another context.

The eye has a blind spot where the optic nerve enters the retina, but you don’t see it. You have the impression of enjoying a seamless field of vision without two black holes in the middle, even though the holes are there. The brain manages to fill in the missing information to make the field seem seamless. Extrapolate that to the whole brain to realize that to function effectively for everyday survival our brain adapts our field of consciousness in two ways: It fills what’s missing to provide a sense of continuity and simplifies available information to not overwhelm you. It hides blind spots from you to provide continuity and withholds information to ensure efficiency. Both these mechanisms distort reality to ensure survival, while simultaneously laying the foundations for ignorance and suffering.

We each have many blind spots, but the core blind spot affecting us all is the proclivity to live as if we had no mind. We use our minds without realizing the extent to which our experience of reality is created by our mind. Without our conscious knowledge our brain creates the reality we experience. We don’t notice that the reality we experience is our brain’s creation. We mistake our brain’s constructions for reality. This results in a dangerous situation, in which we ignore the fact that our experience is subjectively constructed. We mistakenly believe that what we see and experience is automatically true, and because it seems true it seems real, and because it seems real it cannot be changed. Our primordial blind spot towards the brain’s constructions robs us of freedom of choice, of the power of clear view, wise discernment, and respectfully compassionate mutual understanding.

Our mind’s constructions seem so real that we hold on to them for dear life and want to shove them down other people’s throats without exploring their veracity. We get strongly identified with what we believe we know, emotions take over, and the capacity to hear each other vanishes. Identification with mind processes is the single most destructive problem in the way humans use their minds. Emotions suffocate the mind’s spaciousness to freely consider, question, doubt and explore, and before we know it, we are in conflict. If we cannot agree on facts, emotions drive us to use force to impose our views instead of inquiring more deeply into the divergent realities, and if necessary, compromising to try to resolve complexities. Force can take the form of yelling and screaming at each other, or legal and physical action.

The reality our mind constructs and we can have a relationship with, is in fact threefold. We first have objective reality, which is what happens in the universe independent of whether we know about it or there is anyone around to witness it. This reality consists of energy flow that is independent of how our brains and minds construct reality, and therefore as far from information as energy flow can get. The black death virus killed thousands of people without them knowing what viruses are or being able to see them. Although this is the easiest reality to agree upon, like in the case of flat-earthers, emotions still manage to cause distortions of objective facts.

Subjective reality is our own private experience nobody else has access to. This energy flow is entirely within as a construction by our own brain and mind. Although it is largely independent of objective reality, it is profoundly shaped by interactions with others. Even if everyone denies that I am in pain, if I experience pain, it is totally real for me. That is a difficult reality to agree upon, because seeing it from the outside requires trust and our capacity for empathy.

Then there is intersubjective reality, which is the reality of stories. This energy flow is deeply symbolic in the sense that language and stories are symbolic, therefore experienced as information flow, and a mutual co-creation with others. It is the reality that emerges through mutual narrative construction and is neither objective, nor subjective. It only exists in the interpersonal realm containing people who are willing to participate in it by accepting the shared reality. One such reality is money, but there are many others such as all collective ideas we can share. Money means nothing and has no reality unless it is shared in the interpersonal space. This is also a difficult reality to deal with, because it depends on the mutual capacity to regulate the multilayered energy flow between our intuition, our emotions and our intellect. When that occurs, empathy and clear insight become possible, allowing a degree of harmony within the intersubjective dance of energy and information flow to emerge. Any dance couple may dance a Tango, but those in conflict will not be able to present a harmonious dance.

To manage these three realities we each have a relationship with, requires a good deal of self-awareness and emotional regulation many people don’t have. Much of the time, the mind remains transparent like air to our eyes, invisible or not known, yet profoundly determining how we relate to real reality and live our lives. Like children playing in a house on fire, we remain oblivious to the many ways our ignorance of mind causes suffering and destruction all around.      

Copyright © 2024 by Dr. Stéphane Treyvaud. All rights reserved.

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