The Seamless Mind – From Golgi To God

The hidden power of awareness.

Why Golgi?

The Golgi body is an organelle, a subcellular structure that is part of each cell like organs are part of each body. It was named in 1898 after its discoverer, the Italian scientist Camillo Golgi. Its function is to package proteins inside the cell so that they are transportable outside the cell as they are sent to their destination. As an alliteration to ‘God’, ‘Golgi’ creates a verbal resonance across the vast spectrum of seemingly separate domains of knowledge, from the most intricately physical to the numinous. Those domains are not separate at all, and similar to the Golgi body’s function, I try to package this knowledge in such a way as to make it transportable across such seemingly opposed and distant ways of knowing – science, psychology, philosophy, and spirituality.

Resistance to religion

A student in the Mindsight Intensive program sent me this eloquent email:

“I feel the urge to tell you that this week’s lecture touched me profoundly as it summarized at different points what is happening in my life. I will not pretend to understand everything you said, and will not try to use your language because I wouldn’t know how to. But most of the lecture resonated with me because it reflected what I am feeling in my day-to-day, in this journey of discovery I am in.

Since I am (finally) internalizing that there is no use in trying to control anything, I have now space to experience the order/energy/algorithm, which is beyond my understanding, but is making things move (don’t ask for an explanation, please). I just need to provide life with a nudge and the rest is taken care of … The Symphony of Life … I am in awe at the synchronicity and multidimensionality of events and the web of interactions. The examples in my life are too many, and maybe too menial, to list. I see the algorithm in action every day and am so proud to see myself watching life unfold, the good and the bad, welcoming the visits of my different parts, entertaining them, and sending them back home if needed. Spending more time with my Wise Self. So wonderful to witness my own life, eyes wide open, and experience it with a belly full of warrior strength, with joy and gratitude. I recognized during the lecture how I was living my life so diachronically and so unidimensionally, blinders on.

Now that I am more in touch with nature, with my body, my roots, I question (not too deeply, to tell you the truth) where I come from and the reason why I am here on this plane (feeling that there are other planes that I cannot grasp), I do feel that the center is everywhere and the circumference nowhere. I also notice that there are many small things that capture my attention intensely and I can feel their effect in my body (at a recent meditation retreat in the mountain, I saw myself in an ant carrying a big leaf, and I saw my need to ‘look up to the sky’ in a group of fireflies up in a tree). I feel how nature gives me answers in a different dimension. Wondering if I am resisting that I am opening my eyes to ‘God’s world’, just because of the word ‘God’ (my underline).

This Mindsight Intensive session has been the best I have taken so far. Or it just happened when I needed it most … speaking of Symphony of Life…”.

The numinous

We will address the meaning of ‘numinous’ in more detail below. Rudolf Otto coined this term to denote a complex psychological set of experiences that arise when we are faced with the sacred. This email contains a reference (‘God’s world’) to a numinous experience described by Dostoevski in ‘The House of the Dead’: Dostoevski records how one summer day during his term of imprisonment, while he was at work carrying bricks by the banks of the river, he was suddenly struck by the surrounding landscape and overcome with profound emotion:

“Sometimes I would fix my sight for a long while upon the poor smokey cabin of some baigouch; I would study the bluish smoke as it curled in the air, the Kirghiz woman busy with her sheep. … The things I saw were wild, savage, poverty-stricken; but they were free. I would follow the flight of a bird threading its way in the pure transparent air; now it skims the water, now disappears in the azure sky, now suddenly comes to view again, a mere point in space. Even the poor wee floweret fading in the cleft of the bank, which would show itself when spring began, fixed my attention and would draw my tears.“ Dostoevski then remarks that this was the only spot at which he saw “God’s world, a pure and bright horizon, the free desert steppes”; and in casting his gaze across the immense desert space, he found he was able to forget his “wretched self”.

Keiji Nishitani, the leading representative of the Kyoto School of Philosophy, whose work bridges Eastern and Western thought, comments on Dostoevski’s passage as follows:

“The things that Dostoevski draws attention to are all things we come in touch with in our everyday lives. We speak of them as real in the everyday sense of the word, and from there go on to our scientific and philosophical theories. But for such commonplace things to become the focus of so intense a concentration, to capture one’s attention to that almost abnormal degree, is by no means an everyday occurrence. Nor does it spring from scientific or metaphysical reflection. Things that we are accustomed to speaking of as real forced their reality upon him in a completely different dimension. He saw the same real things we all see, but the significance of the realness and the sense of the real in them that he experienced in perceiving them as real are something altogether qualitatively different. Thus was he able to forget his ‘wretched self’ and to open his eyes to ‘God’s world’.”

My student’s sentence encapsulates a thorny topic: “Wondering if I am resisting that I am opening my eyes to ‘God’s world’, just because of the word ‘God’.” The separation of what we deem to be secular (from Latin ‘saecularis’ = ‘worldly’) from the sacred (holy, connected to spirituality, religion, or God) is by no means a reflection of reality, but a mind construct. It is the result of a particular awareness mode we automatically ‘slide into’ as we leave childhood to grow into adulthood. This mode is our ordinary waking consciousness (including nighttime dreams), also called the field of consciousness, which envelops us like water envelops fish. We assume that this is the only available awareness mode we have and that the world revealed to us when we wake up in the morning is reality. Neither is accurate. The way we ordinarily experience life and interpret reality is a mental construct, a controlled, albeit useful illusion, created by the brain’s energy processing. The brain pares down energy flow absorbed through the senses from its environment to a bare minimum, in order to create in our central nervous system manageable information flow our organism can then efficiently use to ensure survival. As rich as this tapestry of day-to-day lived reality seems, it is just a construct or representation of reality based on this measly trickle of processed energy and information flow. This reality construct of the field of consciousness is furthermore only based on existence, ignoring that all existence arises from and disappears into non-existence. If we train our minds to open to a vast hidden potential lying in wait to be discovered and activated, more profound awareness modes are available to us and deeper healing becomes possible. Tapping into this potential allows us to see ordinary waking consciousness and its reality constructs from a far larger context and perspective, which significantly contributes to diminishing our suffering.

The field of consciousness and its maps and menus

The structure of this field of consciousness is characterized by concepts connected to emotions. The organism’s overall energy flow gets processed by the brain in extremely complex ways. This results in thoughts and concepts, which then get woven into clusters and associations in the form of narratives after having been imbued by emotions. We call this information flow. What is unique about information flow is that it is energy pointing beyond itself like a map pointing to a territory or a menu pointing to a meal. This very act of pointing contributes to a deeply engrained conceptual split between subject and object we call duality, which is a hallmark of the field of consciousness. After all, if something points, it starts somewhere and points to somewhere else. In our case, the pointing starts with the subject which points to something else, the object: ‘I’ (the subject) own a ‘house’ (object), ‘I’ see a ‘flower’, and so on – perceiving our very existence from the standpoint of ‘me’ the subject, immersed in a world of objects.

In this world of duality, even the ‘subject’ ‘I’ or ‘me’ becomes an object I can describe and comment on. If you were asked who you are, you would come up with a list of ‘things’ such as ‘man, woman, body, teacher, dancer, husband, wife, son, daughter, responsible, free spirit’, etc. In other words, you would come up yet again with a whole list of objects, unable to name the subject who names it all. Thus, the subject pointing to itself turns itself into an object of its own pointing. So even the ‘I’ in the sentence ‘I own a house’ is experienced as an object that is observable to me. The real me as the pure subject remains forever elusive. This split of reality into a world of duality often takes us so far as to almost completely erase any awareness of a connection between me the subject, and the world of objects around me. This is how, for example, the emotionally abusive husband of a recent patient of mine, can tell her with full conviction that her unhappiness in the marriage has nothing to do with him, that he is perfectly normal, and that she is the one who needs help.

To be clear, the thought, concept, or word ‘table’ is not the wooden 4-legged object it points to. Like the map or the menu, it is a pure construction in our mind. Thoughts and narratives are not reality presenting itself, but re-presented reality. They are not the territory of life experience we live in, the meal of fully embodied living, but only the map of the territory of reality we use in order to orient ourselves, the menu of the meal of lived life. Take any thought, any concept, any name, or any story, they are all about reality, like the finger pointing to the moon as they say in Zen, not reality or the moon itself. In other words, the conceptual world we live in and project onto reality is a virtual world of aboutness, an energy flow in our organism that has been processed by the brain to such complexity that it ends up pointing beyond itself.

As we have seen, the field of consciousness is one encompassing construction of energy flow that manifests as cognition connected to emotions, like the map of a territory or the menu of a meal. Both map and menu ‘point beyond themselves’ to the territory or meal respectively. Nowadays in the age of augmented and virtual reality, our maps have evolved to an extreme degree as we can populate our maps with photos and videos of the mapped regions, or even visit virtually in the comfort of our sofa. However, no matter how you slice it, no matter how augmented our maps may be, they will never be the territory we map. Going to visit Paris will always be a fundamentally different experience than virtual visits. Reading the item ‘moules frites a la marinière’ on the menu will never satisfy your hunger, no matter how succulent it sounds! Unwittingly, this is exactly the world we live in: A constructed map of reality, a menu of real experience, without much access to real reality. I recall the mind-bogglingly sad comment of a resident of Las Vegas, who in all earnest commented on how lucky they are in Las Vegas because they have all of Europe right there and don’t need to fly all the way to Europe to see the Eiffel tower or Venice.

Everything within that mapped world, even the subject ‘me’ who allegedly observes everything, including myself, get mapped as an object of our observation ‘out there’. This is called the far side of being. Within the inescapable field of consciousness, in which everything is named, through the naming process itself everything becomes part of the far side of being. I am here and the table is there, on the far side of me. Even when I look at myself, the elusive ‘I’ is somewhere not to be found, while the ‘myself’ is there on the far side. And so it is with God; whatever you may ever say about God, it is always and inescapably a map of a reality we cannot access from the vantage point of the field of consciousness. God is always on the far side, as we well know from the way we live and speak about it. God is in church, but not in a casino; the spiritual realm is over there where I am not, never right here where I am; spiritual life is in the afterlife, never right here in this life; God is in a monastery, not in a science lab; despite Jesus’ well-known invitations to all of humanity, non-Catholics are frowned upon when they take communion, maybe because the catholic God is head of a more exclusive club than the infidel pagan club. If I write about physiological processes in the body, I allegedly don’t write about spirituality – in short, God is sacred, yet forever intangible; Golgi is not sacred, and unfortunately for most people, the sacred is never here, but always on the far side somewhere else.

For my student, whom I would characterize as, shall we say, a rational humanist (I don’t know whether she would see herself that way), using the word ‘God’ entails too many distorting connotations for comfort, causing resistance to using it. With religion, some people associate belief, dogma, doctrine, the irrational, and even magical thinking, which is for them not a particularly appealing way of using their minds and coming to terms with existential concerns. Does it have to be like that? Are God and Golgi possibly much closer related than one might think?

The invisible cage

Coming back to our field of consciousness, here is the rub as Hamlet would say: We have this unconscious habit of confusing the map with the territory, the stories we live by with the reality we live in. Within this awareness mode, the only one most people are ever familiar with, everything is named, and we erroneously come to believe that what is named, is known. We were conditioned to that from a very young age when we began to develop language. Remember as a young parent your little munchkin, age two or so, pointing to something and you responding with “flower, dog, sky, etc.!” Or at a slightly older age being asked “what is that?” and your response “a bird, a car, a book, etc.” And then later “what is this man doing?” and you say “he is eating an apple”. And lastly the oh so annoying ‘why?’ stage, annoying because most of the time you did not have an answer: “Why don’t dogs have feathers?” “(God knows! ….)”. Anyway, you named the whole world for the child, and with these names, you wove whole narratives, in the end proudly gloating to other parents about this little genius you now have in your household, who knows how to read ‘The Brothers Karamazov’ at the age of four.

This process, as you can certainly recall, was invested with strong emotions of parental approval and child pride, reinforcing the message that having the menu will satisfy your hunger. Naming the objects of the world came to be synonymous with the belief that knowing the names means that we know what the names refer to. In addition, we came to presume that just because we have seen something before, we now know what it is, because it has the same name – yesterday’s flower in my backyard is the same as today’s flower at the store … just a flower. Our mind associates everything with names and every name with other names. When we see things again, we can then just use the old familiar names, and the more we converse with these names that we weave into stories, the more we mix with their content, get to know them and become more intimate with them. Before we know it, we have grown into an invisible, transparent virtual bubble of name and narrative associations, through which we see the world, believing that what we think and have associated with words, names and stories, is reality – and that, is one of the most profound illusions of human existence.

To be sure, naming to map is not a bad thing. It is what brains do in order to be able to turn amorphous energy flow into useful information bits we can own, manipulate, play with, and creatively combine in myriads ways. It becomes problematic when we (1) confuse named reality with real reality, (2) erroneously believe that knowledge coming from this naming process is knowledge of real reality, (3) allow the left brain to dominate our lives through this naming process, and (4) miss out on living the uniqueness of present-moment experience and real reality by being imprisoned by the constructed world of names that can only capture averaged experiences.

The structural limitations of our senses

Let’s get back to Golgi for a moment, my imaginative mascot for scientific, physical reality. Our external senses of touch, sight, sound, taste and smell receive different sections of the total spectrum of energy from the universe (called exteroception). Our organism receives the universe’s energy through our external senses in ways that are restricted by the specific human neural architecture. For example, a vulture has a different neural architecture, and therefore can receive olfactory energy to a much more sensitive degree than we can: It can smell carrion from a mile away, an impossible feat for us. The same applies to our eyes which are incapable of registering UV light or x-rays, and the energy we absorb through nutrition and air, or through our internal somatic senses when we ‘feel’ our body (called interoception). Whichever senses receive energy (exteroception or interoception), or processes absorb and release energy (nutrition, air, skin), the energy is fundamentally always the same: Mostly (to keep it simple) electromagnetic waves and electrochemical processes. Our senses, however, are architecturally limited in how large a chunk of the whole energy spectrum of the universe they are capable of registering.

Emergent properties

While our organism exchanges energy with its environment, another parallel exchange process unfolds simultaneously courtesy of our nervous system, which includes peripheral nerves, the autonomic nervous system, the spine, and the brain with its neurons and glia cells. The electrochemical energy received through our external and internal senses gets processed by the central nervous system in mindbogglingly complex ways. This energy processing is the construction of new energy patterns that emerge from the body. What is so extraordinary is that these resulting energy flow constructions we like to call ‘information’, and which we experience as thoughts, are a form of energy patterns that ‘mysteriously’ point beyond themselves. I say ‘mysteriously’, not because of some kind of hocus-pocus lurking in reality, but simply because we don’t yet know exactly how that happens. It happens though in the same way as a multitude of cars gives rise to traffic with its own laws; the complexity of energy flow processing gives rise to cognition with its own characteristic of pointing beyond itself. By ‘pointing beyond itself’ I mean quite simply that the word ‘dog’ is not the dog itself; it is merely a thought that points to something else than the thought itself, in this case, the dog. We summarily call these emergent energy constructions ‘mind’, but a closer look at them reveals what I have already described above: In ordinary, unexamined life, what we call ‘mind’ moves mostly within the field of consciousness, this invisible bubble of stories we mistake for reality. And mind, for that matter, obeys different laws and principles than the physical world, even though no other extraneous substances or notions about energy than the ones we know so far through physics, are required to make sense of it.

Re-connecting

Here is my potentially surprising claim: It is perfectly reasonable to see God and the sacred through science, and the secular physical through God. They are in fact one and the same. What differentiates the secular from the sacred is not content, but the degree to which we know the human mind. The same activity, let’s say carrying bricks on a construction site, can be secular or sacred depending on how we approach it and end up experiencing it. That difference is achieved not by slicing reality into secular and sacred parts as our naming mind likes to do, but by expanding our awareness beyond the field of consciousness. My student’s God then does not have to be resisted, because God does not have to remain a menu item, superficially mapped out by a name attached to associations that get projected onto an unknown reality ‘out there’ on the far side. Instead, it can be fully embraced as real reality manifesting itself directly, which we now know is beyond names, words, and stories – the nameless, timeless and unknowable. The notion of religion could become rehabilitated to its original Latin meaning, re-connection (from Latin ‘re-ligio’) with a depth of awareness not found in ordinary waking consciousness. Religion can evoke strong aversion if it is misunderstood as a socio-political organization responsible for providing a collection of dogmas designed to make people feel good and control their attitudes, behaviors, and morals. This is not to say that being part of a community that engages in shared rituals cannot be deeply inspiring. But when we explore the cracks and gaps of our ordinary waking consciousness and begin the journey beyond it towards the development of further awareness modes available to us, religion can move beyond being the depository of thoughts about deeper reality, and instead become a branch of the discipline of mindsight that can teach us how to let real reality be revealed to us, which is what the notion of ‘God’ ultimately points to.

The mirrored door

When we explore ordinary waking consciousness more closely, we quickly come to realize that it contains gaps and cracks. ‘There is something wrong in the state of Denmark’ (Shakespeare). Oedipus is blind to the fact that he is the cause of a plague ravaging Thebes, having unknowingly killed his father and married his mother. We tend to be blind to the fact that our endless suffering cannot be eradicated by improving the nightmare of ordinary waking consciousness. We must wake up from it and doing so is not easy.

The field of consciousness is like a mirrored door we do not recognize as a door. We strut in front of it, endlessly looking at the prison of constructed reality reflected back to us, narcissistically admiring the power of our own constructions without appreciating their limitations and destructive aspects. We do everything we can to push away and ignore the underbelly of existence, which amounts to nothing more than trying to improve the world of nightmares. Strikingly, this also applies to much of the Western mindfulness meditation industry, which for the most part exclusively focuses on aspects of the field of consciousness, depriving us of seeing the mirrored door as a passage that opens to the dormant potential of two further awareness modes we usually never tap into.

I am reminded of a cartoon I saw decades ago in my youth. It depicted the human condition. You saw three obviously unfriendly and disgruntled giants walking in single file, one behind the other, all three of them stooped forward holding their heads at about waist height. On top of them, along their horizontal backs ran an unsteady-looking train track, upon which a tiny passenger train was driving along. You clearly would not have wanted to be in that train, as one of these moody giants could have stood up straight at any moment and thrown the whole train into oblivion. The underbelly of existence is non-existence. We may occasionally touch upon it intellectually, but beyond that, we avoid it like the plague by staying within the ‘safe’ confines of the golden cage of existence, our ordinary waking consciousness.

Everything that exists appears to be coming into existence at some point in time and disappearing out of existence at another point in time. From the perspective of the field of consciousness, everything – and I mean everything – comes and goes, is born and dies, appears and disappears. Even the eternal God of religious institutions imagined to be beyond the cycle of birth and death, exists in endless time, and since time is something that exists, endless or not, it is bound to arise and disappear. In short, from the point of view of ordinary consciousness, death is inevitable, and we mean here the decomposition of our embodied existence. But death is so distasteful that ordinary waking consciousness cleverly designs stories of survival in the form of thoughts we believe in and that seems to make us feel better: The rainbow bridge, paradisiacal places we will rejoin our loved ones, notions of eternal souls, or seeing our loved ones all around us wherever we go in their decomposed chemical form of carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, potassium, sodium, etc. as it gets recycled into the natural world. There is nothing wrong with these stories of survival, except that for many people they do not suffice and lead to limited results with regards to their attempts at decreasing suffering in their lives. They miss recognizing the mirrored door as a passage and limit access to the full awareness potential we all have.

Nothingness

The necessary awareness jump we need to take to open the mirrored door is to surrender to annihilation, nullification, or nothingness – arriving at a dead end and falling off the cliff. That is not easy and can create a lot of fear. It is therefore imperative to have the appropriate mind training to take that step without causing harm. In opening that door, we enter the mystery of the numinous introduced above. This mystery is not understood as something otherworldly but in the sense of its Latin roots meaning ‘obscure’. It is about meeting a wholly other aspect of reality never seen before, typically experienced with blank wonder and stupor. It is entirely different from anything we experience in ordinary life and evokes a reaction of silence. We begin enlarging our awareness to include the awareness mode of the field of nothingness.

At first, we meet the nullification of the world, during which process we learn to surrender to nothingness. However, for a time nothingness is still seen from the perspective of an enduring self, and therefore continues to partially remain within the field of duality. What that means is that ‘nothing’ still survives as ‘something’ we are aware of. The thing we are learning to surrender to is called ‘nothing’. As we eventually realize that this inevitable nullification of existence also applies to the constructed self, it also dissolves into nothing, and no vantage point remains from which to see nothing as something. At that point the breakthrough to the next most encompassing awareness mode occurs, the field of emptiness.

It is called that way because we then fully realize reality to be as it is, free from our confusion with the constructed maps about reality. There is no attachment left to the constructions of the field of consciousness. This does not mean that we don’t grieve the loss of our loved ones anymore, or that we stop paying our taxes. It simply means that we have stopped seeing existence as fundamental to reality, and instead have come to realize that everything is nameless, timeless potential in perpetual movements of coalescence and decomposition, so that nothing is ever born, and nothing ever dies. There is only movement and transformation, and that is our true identity. As they say in Zen, at the beginning of the journey (as we explore the field of consciousness) a mountain is a mountain (unidimensional view); in the middle of the journey (as we explore the field of nothingness), the mountain ceases to be a mountain (two-dimensional view); at the end of the journey (when the field of emptiness reveals itself), the mountain is again a mountain, but a profoundly different, now three-dimensional view of the mountain. When we started, we were awed by the magic show of the field of consciousness, believing that the magician has superpowers we could be jealous of not having. In the middle, we became disheartened by the realization that these are only tricks and the whole magic we saw was fake (the field of nothingness). In the end, we have been transformed by the power of the performance and can now fully enjoy the magic show, knowing that what we see is caused by a bag of tricks, allowing ourselves to admire the power of these tricks, and knowing that behind it all lies the timeless extraordinariness of the ordinary that is capable of such wonders.

Navigating the numinous

The moment we enter the field of nothingness, fundamental transformations occur, and they are not easy to navigate. Sooner or later, we encounter the fear of giving up our familiar prison walls, and that comes with many painful feelings of meaninglessness, despair, pointlessness, forsakenness, absurdity, sadness, depression, anxiety, and panic. This is the phase of the forty days or forty years in the desert and corresponds to the aspect of the numinous experienced as tremendous (from Latin = ‘awful, dreadful, horrible’). It provokes terror because it presents itself as an overwhelming power causing a profound sense of disturbance as we realize how wildly deluded our sense of reality within the field of consciousness is. We experience a certain shrinking, a sense of inadequacy to cope with such an enormous discovery, followed by deep humility. In Shakespeare’s words: “Under it, my genius is rebuked.”

Once we have worked through the nullification of not only the world but also the self, the second aspect of the numinous presents itself as the field of emptiness appears. It is experienced as fascinating (from Latin = ‘bewitch, charm, dazzle, enchant, captivate, enrapture, enthrall, beguile’). We now find a sense of wonder, awe, and love, of merciful graciousness, and a sense of glory and beauty as an adorable quality. We realize the blessing, redeeming quality, and salvation-bringing power of our transformation through the three awareness modes. As they say in Zen, we find ourselves to be able to be ‘free and easy in the marketplace’, which means experiencing peace and serenity independent of circumstance. This break-out from the field of consciousness through the field of nothingness (“forget about his wretched self”) into the field of emptiness (“God’s world”) is experienced as deeply liberating, calming, grounding, enlivening, and healing, causing suffering to melt like snow in the warm sun of deep self-awareness of reality.

Coda

Through all that, the work of chopping wood and carrying water (Zen) or doing the laundry (Kornfield) begins. This is the lifelong task of living one’s life as an unending process of noticing improvement on our transformative journey through the three awareness modes, inspiring others, and bringing soothing, healing love into this world. The beauty in all this is that it does not require beliefs, gurus, churches, dogmas, miracles, magical thinking, or otherworldly imaginations. All we need is the power of direct, embodied, present-moment lived experience, examined by the shared subjective reality of psychotherapeutic, meditative, contemplative, and philosophical reflective tradition, and grounded by the shared objective reality of science. All we need to do is closely examine our minds, and reality presents itself to us in its full glory, from Golgi to God. That is the greatest miracle I can think of.

Copyright © 2022 by Dr. Stéphane Treyvaud. All rights reserved.

The Board Between Us

Victoria Mortis: An invitation to transcendence

...
Read more >
August 20, 2026

Notes on Owe Zerge's Victoria Mortis for the work at The Mindfulness Centre

Owe Zerge, Victoria Mortis, 1921

Some version of this roomexists in every house that has ever sheltered a person. The furniture keepschanging; sometimes there is no table at all, only a bed, a hallway, a hospitalcorridor with the light turned low, a roadside at two in the morning. Owe Zergepainted his version in 1921: a young man, stripped of everything but his ownskin, bent over a chessboard against a visitor who has clearly been expected,if not exactly invited.

The painting belongs to anolder family of images. There is the medieval Dance of Death; there are theSwedish church murals a young Ingmar Bergman once stood beneath and laterpoured into the chess game of The Seventh Seal; there is the whole long Europeanhabit of putting a skeleton at the table and asking what a person does with thetime that is left. What Zerge adds to that lineage is the nakedness. Earlierversions dress their doomed men in the armour of knighthood or the robes of theclergy; Zerge undresses his, and in doing so removes the last alibi. No rank isleft to hide inside, no office to retreat behind, no title that might negotiatea different outcome with the visitor across the board. What remains at thattable is simply a mind, a body, and an amount of time neither of them gets toset, even when disrupting the chess game to delay the inevitable buys us atemporary reprieve. Remembering this nakedness, my approach to the MobilityMind program dispenses with such notions as advanced or beginner.

I

Begin with the bareness,because the painting does. We are used to nakedness as vulnerability, somethingto be covered, apologised for, or eroticised. This is a different register ofundress, closer to what Heidegger meant by thrownness: the plain fact of havingbeen delivered into existence without ever having been consulted about theterms. No one asked the young man in the painting whether he wanted a body thatages. No one asked whether he wanted a mind that fears, or a clock running inonly one direction. He simply woke up inside the arrangement, the way all of usdid, and the painting's first honesty is to show him without the elaboratescaffolding we build afterward to make that arrangement feel chosen.

Diogenes the Cynic understoodsomething of this when he made his home in a barrel and owned almost nothing,not out of poverty but as a standing argument. Most of what we call our life,he seemed to be demonstrating, is decoration laid over a smaller and moreexposed fact, and a person willing to strip the decoration away gains a freedomthe well-dressed rarely have access to. The boy at Zerge's table has not chosenhis nakedness in that deliberate way; it has simply been given to him, the wayit is given to everyone, sooner or later, by illness, by loss, by a diagnosisspoken in a small room, by the plain arithmetic of years. Yet the painting asksus to notice that this exposure, however involuntary, may be the truestself-portrait any of us will ever sit for, since everything else gets returnedto the wardrobe eventually, while the body was never really borrowed to beginwith.

II

And yet look at the effort inhim: elbows locked against the table, fists pressed to a brow furrowed into asingle, narrowing corridor of thought. This is not the loose attention ofsomeone simply thinking. It is the clenched labour of a mind trying to thinkits way out of a room that has no other door. Ernest Becker gave this labour aname and a whole psychology of its own in The Denial of Death. A great deal ofhuman striving, he argued, culture, ambition, even love, functions as anelaborate immortality project, a set of structures built so that some part ofus will seem to outlast the part that cannot.

We rarely experience this asdenial while we are inside it; it feels, from where the young man sits, urgentand reasonable, a person simply doing his best with the position in front ofhim. Centuries before Becker, Pascal noticed something similar and gave it ashorter name: divertissement, diversion. A man would rather chase a hare acrossa field all day, he observed, than sit quietly alone in a room, not because thehare matters but because the sitting brings something unbearable too close. Thechessboard works this way for the young man too. Far from being idlerecreation, it is a magnificent, socially sanctioned distraction, a taskcomplicated enough to fully occupy a mind that would otherwise have to feelwhat it is actually facing, which is why so many of us recognise the posture:the calendar kept too full to leave room for the question, the inbox refreshedone more time before the harder conversation gets started, the achievementchased mainly because the chasing postpones something quieter and largerunderneath it.

III

The choice of chess for thisparticular confrontation is close to the whole argument, folded into a singleimage. Of all human games, chess flatters the intellect most completely, theleft brain above all: a closed system, finite, rule-bound, in principleexhaustible by sufficient calculation, the one arena where cleverness reliablywins if the calculating mind is patient and precise enough. Bring that samemind to a table across from Death, however, and the flattery collapses, becausethe terms of this match were never symmetrical to begin with. No opening theoryoutlives a failing heart, and no matter how many moves ahead the young mansees, the seeing itself draws down a reserve that winning the position in frontof him cannot replenish.

Here is the joke the intellectkeeps failing to hear: it was hired to win a contest whose actual terms weredecided before the first piece was ever moved. Death does not need to play abetter game. Death only needs to keep the appointment made the moment the youngman was born. Recognising this early rather than late is close to a mercy,because the alternative, the quiet, lifelong conviction that enoughintelligence, enough foresight, enough discipline might eventually out-arguemortality, or the foolish fantasy that an imagined perfection of an afterlifewill compensate for all the miseries of this existence, is a belief capable ofconsuming an entire life in the arguing. And losing anyway. And losingadditionally every year spent refusing to notice the actual shape of the gamebeing played.

IV

Beside the board, easy to misson a first look, an hourglass keeps its own counsel. It offers no dial, nonumerals, no argument on behalf of either player. Sand falls at the same ratethrough triumph as through dread, indifferent to which of them is winning,simply following physics' laws. European painters of the sixteenth andseventeenth centuries loved to set precisely this object beside a skull and aguttering candle in their vanitas still lifes, because an hourglass makes norhetorical case at all. It measures by flowing, indifferent to whichever storyeither of us happens to be telling ourselves about how the match is going.

Augustine, turning the natureof time over in the eleventh book of the Confessions, arrived at a related andequally unsettling observation: that the present, examined closely, is notreally a duration we ever get to hold. It is a knife-edge between a past thathas already escaped and a future that has not yet arrived, so narrow that bythe time we notice we are standing on it, we have already been carried past. Takingit a step further, the present moment has a timeless duration that is our lives’essence, a dimension we ignore at our own peril. The hourglass in Zerge'spainting does Augustine's work quietly, in wood and glass, at the edge of amatch neither player is watching it play. Its presence relativizes the entirecontest without raising its voice, because whatever the outcome of this particulargame, the falling has been happening the whole time regardless. What wasactually at stake was never the position of the pieces. It was the grainsalready fallen, which cannot be walked back up the glass, the grains stillwaiting their turn, over which no one at that table, on either side, has everbeen granted the smallest authority, and above all, the timeless falling itself.

V

Then there is the face: Death'smouth caught in an unsettlingly double expression, teeth bared in somethingthat refuses to resolve into either menace or mirth no matter how long a personlooks at it. Northrop Frye's account of the shapes stories take offers a way tohold both readings at once rather than forcing a choice between them, since hetraced the human imagination's narrative modes through a cycle running fromcomedy through romance into tragedy and finally irony, each carrying its ownparticular relationship to fate and desire.

Read the smile ironically, inFrye's winter mode, where the world's actual outcomes mock human aspiration,and it becomes the driest possible punchline: every plan a pretension, everycareful calculation met by a grin that has watched this exact scene resolve tenthousand times already. But read the same smile romantically, in the sense ofthe quest narrative where a hero descends into danger in order to returntransformed, and the expression softens into an invitation, even a kind oftenderness. It becomes the smile of a guide standing at the mouth of the onejourney that keeps no secrets, offering no false rescue and therefore incapableof the betrayal easier companions eventually manage. What makes the paintinggenuinely unsettling rather than merely grim, and what amounts to pureright-brain intervention at its best, is that it refuses to let the smilesettle into one register. It insists on both, the way the wisest teachers ofalmost any tradition tend to insist that the frightening and the liberating turnout, on sufficiently close inspection, to be the same fact seen from twodifferent distances.

VI

Here contemplative andphilosophical traditions converge on an observation that sounds paradoxicalonly to a mind that has not yet tested it: holding mortality in steadyawareness, rather than at arm's length, enlarges the room a life gets to happenin. Heidegger called the alternative to this awareness das Man, the anonymous"the They" or "the Anyone," a public mode of existence inwhich individuals conform to societal norms and expectations rather than actingauthentically. Through idle talk and endless deferral, das Man manages neverquite to arrive at its own death as a real and present fact, treating dying assomething that happens to other people, reported at a comfortable distance.

Authentic existence, in hisaccount, requires the opposite move, what he called Being-towards-death: awillingness to hold one's own finitude close enough that it organiseseverything else honestly, rather than being managed from a safe philosophicalremove. The Stoics, working several centuries earlier and along a considerablyless mystical road, arrived at a related practice by a more practical route.Seneca advised his correspondents to rehearse loss in the imagination before itarrived, a discipline later writers called ‘premeditatio malorum’, on thetheory that a person who has already walked toward the worst case in thought isfar less enslaved by the fear of it in fact. More than a thousand years later,Montaigne distilled the whole tradition into a single working sentence heplaced at the head of an essay: "To philosophise is to learn how todie." Rilke hoped for something more intimate still, not a generic deathhanded out identically to everyone but what he called one's own death, ripeninginside a life the way fruit ripens on its particular tree, shaped by everythingthat life actually was. Ivan Illich wished not to die of illness, but of death.And fully embracing ‘the full catastrophe’ of life through mindfulnessmeditation means, for Buddhists, that "if you die, before you die, youwill not die, when you die."

What these very different mindsare describing, across their very different centuries, is the discovery theyoung man at the chessboard has not yet made. A mind that keeps deathpermanently at the edge of vision spends enormous, unacknowledged energy maintainingthat peripheral blur, and the space left over for actually living shrinks tothe size of its own vigilance, a smaller and smaller room maintained at greaterand greater cost. Turn and look directly, and most of what felt unbearablyurgent a moment before turns out to have been urgent only within the comfortingfiction of unlimited time, a fiction so constant that we mistake it for theweather rather than for something we ourselves keep manufacturing. Remove thefiction, and the present stops rushing toward a door at the far end of acorridor. What is left, quite simply, is the room itself, timeless not becausetime has stopped but because there was never anywhere else it was supposed tobe rushing to in the first place.

VII

So the young man's mistake wasnever the quality of his chess. It was the frame he brought to the board. Playagainst Death to win, and every game resolves the same way, because the termswere fixed before the pieces were ever set out, fixed, in a sense, from thefelling of the tree the table itself was cut from. Play chess with Death ratherthan against him, though, and the entire board changes its meaning without asingle rule being altered. What had been a contest over who outlasts whombecomes something closer to a disciplined dance, a structured, formal, almostceremonial way of sitting in proximity to nihility without being dissolved byit, not unlike what a meditation cushion offers a mind that has never beforetried sitting still with its own groundlessness.

Zen practice has a phrase forthe state this requires: don't-know mind, the willingness to remain in genuinenot-knowing rather than reaching immediately for the reassurance of an answer.The Buddhist tradition of deliberate contemplation of death uses structuredreflection for exactly this purpose, not to frighten the practitioner intoparalysis but to give the enormity of impermanence a shape small enough toactually sit with, the way sixty-four squares give the enormity of a game ashape small enough to actually play.

This is the shift my work atThe Mindfulness Centre keeps returning to, across every different vocabulary ituses to teach it: not the abolition of groundlessness, which is on offer to noone, but a change in our relationship to it, from something braced against withclenched shoulders to something a person can, with practice, learn to sitinside on purpose. I will never forget Karlfried Graf Dürckheim’s words when Iwas too young to fully absorb them: "Anyone past forty, who is notmeditating on death every day, must be out of his mind."

VIII

An adversary has to be defeatedor it defeats you. There is no third position available, which is exactly whatmakes adversarial relationships so exhausting to sustain over an entirelifetime. A dance partner offers a genuinely different structure: leadingsometimes, yielding sometimes, moving with a person rather than merely at them,so that the measure of the encounter stops being victory and becomes insteadthe quality of the movement, moment by moment. This, in fact, may be the olderand truer reading of the whole tradition Zerge is painting inside. The medievaldanse macabre from which the entire chess-with-Death motif eventually descendswas not originally imagined as combat at all but as a dance, a skeletal figuretaking the hand of the pope, the child, the merchant, the beggar, and leadingeach in turn into the same procession, regardless of what any of them hadaccumulated along the way. Basel's history museum houses the remnants of afresco from the late Middle Ages, around 1440, called Totentanz, death's dance,faded now but still legible enough to serve as a reminder of our sharedexistential roots.

Basler Totentanz, Historisches Museum

Taoist thought offers aparallel structure from an entirely different hemisphere. The practice thetradition calls wu wei, and the martial art of push-hands built directly on it,teach a student to meet incoming force not by opposing it head-on, which tendsto break the person with less mass, but by yielding into it, redirecting it,moving with it until the line between the two forces meeting starts to blur.Relating to death this way is not resignation in a nicer coat; it is an actualchange of partner, and the strange gift of that change is what happens to theold battle lines it dissolves. Existence defended on one side of the table,nihility attacking from the other, stops making sense as a war once bothparties are moving to the same rhythm. Two dancers sharing a floor are notfighting over who keeps it. In the sharing, existence and nihility stop readingas opposing armies and start to look like two names given, at differentmoments, to the very same motion. We find the same invitation in the Bhagavad Gita,where Krishna tells Arjuna to go to war against the opposing army to which manyof his friends and extended family members belong: the urgent imperative totake on one's cherished defenses, so that we don't chronically remain in a waragainst ourselves, and instead gain the power to integrate the shadow.

IX

Follow that shared floor farenough and something further comes into view, something the painting'suncompromising black background may already be gesturing toward without quitesaying it aloud. Nothingness, or more technically, nihility or non-existence,approached as an enemy to be kept out, feels like a void that erodes everyconnection it touches. Met differently, though, sat with, danced with, nolonger flinched away from at the first approach, this same nihility turns outto be closer to the medium in which connection itself becomes possible than tothe thing that ends it.

The Heart Sutra states this asplainly as a teaching this large can be stated: form is emptiness, andemptiness is form, each arising only together with the other, neither availablewithout its counterpart standing behind it. Buddhist thought calls the widerprinciple behind this dependent origination: nothing arises on its own,everything is what it is only in relation to everything it is not. Seen throughleft-brain logic, non-existence appears as a cold, unforgiving void set againstexistence, exiled from the realm of connection. Yet once this duality isembraced rather than resolved, it dissolves into a liberating emptiness at thecentre of things – the very field that makes connection possible at all, theway silence is not an absence in music but the space that lets one note finishbeing itself before the next begins.

Epicurus, writing from anentirely different philosophical tradition and century, reached for a relatedreassurance by a more direct road: "Where death is, I am not; where I am,death is not." He meant it as a logical solvent for fear, and it stillworks that way, but read alongside the Buddhist teaching it becomes somethingwarmer too, a reminder that the living moment and the death that ends it arenever actually required to occupy the same room at the same time. Death,properly understood, is not the great disconnector it is so often accused ofbeing, the enemy waiting at the end of every corridor to sever us from everyoneand everything we have loved. It is closer to a constant, undemandingcompanion, the one presence guaranteed never to walk out of the room, neverdistracted, never called away by some more urgent appointment elsewhere, andprecisely because of that guarantee, perhaps the one relationship steady enoughto finally stop bracing against and simply lean into: a gentle friend, askingnothing more of us than that we stop insisting, against all the evidence of thetable already set for two, that it is a stranger or an ending. It is just a transformation.

X

None of this is new, and itsage is a large part of its authority. The same face keeps arriving at the sametable across cultures that never once exchanged a letter.
Greek myth iscareful, in fact, to distinguish two figures the popular imagination oftencollapses into one: Thanatos, gentle twin brother of Hypnos the god of sleep,who comes for the person rather than the place; and Hades, ruler not of deathitself but of the kingdom the dead arrive in afterward, an inevitable hostrather than a hunter, presiding over a realm that asks only patience of its newarrivals, ferried across by Charon for the fare of a single coin placed underthe tongue.
Egyptian tradition staged itsown version of the encounter as a trial rather than a game. In the Hall of TwoTruths, Anubis weighs the traveller's heart on a scale against the feather ofMa'at, and the outcome depends not on cleverness but on whether the life thatwas lived can balance against a feather without sinking.
Tibetan Buddhism offers theBardo Thodol, the Book of the Dead, as a guide read aloud to the dying and thenewly dead through the disorienting intermediate state between one life andwhatever comes after; the same tradition's practice of sky burial returns thebody directly to vultures on a mountainside, a final, unsentimental teaching innon-attachment to the very flesh that spent a lifetime being defended.
In fifteenth-century Japan, thePure Land teacher Rennyo wrote his well-known letter on "whitebones," reminding his followers that the person animated and rosy-cheekedin the morning may by evening have become nothing more than pale bone for thefields to receive, a teaching Zen painters echoed visually in the kusōzutradition, sequences of images tracing a body's decay stage by stage, made notto horrify but to train the eye into steady looking.
In Mexico, the calaca figuresof the Día de los Muertos, epitomised by José Guadalupe Posada's elegant,bonneted Catrina, do something Zerge's grim visitor does not quite dare: theydress death in its Sunday best and invite it, laughing, to sit at a tablealready crowded with marigolds and the favourite dishes of the beloved dead,treating the skeleton not as an intruder to be endured but as family returningfor the evening.
As close to us as can be,Christ reminds us that birth and death are not a beginning and a finality but atransformation occurring through the alchemical coincidentia oppositorum, theunion of opposites, as we learn to integrate the archetypally masculine andfeminine.

Different climates, differentcenturies, entirely different theologies, and yet the same figure keeps pullingup the same chair, wearing whatever clothing that particular culture foundbearable enough to dress it in, saying, underneath all the variation, somethingclose to a single sentence: you already know me, you have only forgotten how tosit with me without flinching.

The young man in the paintinghas not yet looked up. He is still calculating, still hoping that enoughcleverness might accomplish what only a change of posture can. But theinvitation resting on that table was never to win. It never was, not for him,not for the painter who put him there, and not for whoever eventually stands infront of the canvas long enough to notice their own hands doing the sameclenched work his are doing. The invitation is simpler and considerablystranger: to notice the open hand across the board, to take the seat that hasactually been offered rather than the one the imagination keeps insisting issafer, and to discover, somewhere in the playing, that the game everyone spendsa lifetime dreading to lose was, from the very first move, the doorway into theonly game worth having sat down to play at all – a dance.

Copyright© 2026 by Dr. Stéphane Treyvaud. All rights reserved.

Four depths down and the medicine of emptiness

Where healing ends in silence

...
Read more >
July 13, 2026

I. The Ladder of Depths

Every complaint a human being brings to another human being, every human exchange can be met at four depths. This is not a metaphor. It is a clinical observation, repeatable across decades of practice, and it has a strange property: the deeper the layer at which the human suffering is met, the less is said, the less is done, and the more is healed. The trajectory of genuine help runs not toward more sophisticated answers but toward the progressive exhaustion of answering itself, combined with deepening mastery of responsibility.

Take the most ordinary of openings, the sentence uttered a thousand times a day in every language: “I feel stressed. I am unhappy and having a hard time coping.” What happens next depends entirely on the depth at which the listener is standing. And here is the experiment this essay proposes: we will answer that same sentence four times, once from each layer, and we will let the language itself betray the depth. For the layers are not merely different techniques – they are different relationships to language, and beneath that, different relationships to the whole person. Each layer addresses a different stratum of the one who suffers: the first addresses her circumstances, the second his thoughts, the third her hidden story, and the fourth the whole organism itself – that living totality of body, brain, history, and awareness which precedes every story told about it. As we descend, words do not simply change their content. They change their function, then their density, and finally their necessity – because what they are addressing grows progressively larger than anything words were built to hold.

II. The First Layer: The World of Advice

“Oh, I know exactly what you mean – I went through the same thing last year. Have you tried getting more sleep? Honestly, that changed everything for me. And you should really take a proper vacation, you’ve earned it. Maybe cut back on the coffee too. My sister swears by yoga – there’s a great studio near you. You’ll get through this. Everyone does.”

That is the friend. The counselor at this same layer sounds different – more disciplined, less autobiographical – but listen to where the inquiry lives:

“Let us look at what is actually happening. When did the stress begin – and what changed around that time? Workload? Sleep? Finances? A relationship? Let us make an inventory of your commitments and sort them: which are truly yours, which could be delegated, which could be dropped. Which sources of pressure are within your control, and which are not? Once we can see the whole picture, we can build a plan – realistic steps, one at a time.”

The counselor has removed himself from the frame – no sister, no yoga studio, no borrowed biography – and this is real professional discipline. The exploration is genuinely investigative: causes are sought, factors are sorted, a plan takes shape. And yet the friend and the counselor stand at exactly the same depth, because the inquiry, however methodical, remains entirely within the concrete, the logical, the practical. Notice what the language of both is doing: it is full. It brims with content – the friend’s content is her own life, the counselor’s content is the inventory and the plan, but content it remains. Its grammatical mood is the imperative softened by kindness or the question aimed at action: try this, sort that, decide this. It treats suffering as a logistics problem – something is misarranged in the person’s circumstances and must be resupplied, rescheduled, reorganized. The person herself is addressed as the manager of her situation, and the whole of her – the body that carries the stress, the history that shaped her way of carrying it, the awareness in which all of it appears – is left standing outside the consulting room. The listener remains entirely within what we might call the world of things: the world of content, of provisions, of arrangements, of more.

The first layer helps, sometimes. But it heals the way a borrowed coat warms – from the outside, temporarily, and in someone else’s size. Even the counselor’s well-tailored plan remains a coat.

III. The Second Layer: The World of Meaning

“Let us look at the thought itself. When you say ‘I am having a hard time coping,’ what is the belief underneath? Perhaps: ‘I should be able to handle this alone,’ or ‘If I cannot cope, I am failing.’ Is that belief accurate? What is the evidence for it, and against it? What would you say to a friend who held it? Could the sentence be reframed – not ‘I am failing to cope’ but ‘I am carrying more than one person is built to carry’?”

The language has changed. It is no longer full of the helper’s life; it is structured, forensic, Socratic. Its mood has shifted from imperative to interrogative, but the questions are closed at the bottom – they have destinations. This is the cognitive layer, and its wager is that suffering rides on meaning: change the appraisal and you change the emotion, and through the emotion, the body. The wager frequently pays. Cognition is genuinely upstream of much misery, and a distorted belief, once caught in the light, loses a measure of its grip.

Yet notice what has not changed. The work still happens entirely within the economy of content. One meaning is exchanged for a better meaning, one story for a more adaptive story. The currency has been revalued, but we are still shopping. Something has genuinely deepened – the inquiry has moved from the person’s circumstances into the person, from the world to the thought about the world – but a thought is a thin slice of a human being. The self who suffers and the self who fixes remain intact, facing each other across the same table, and the rest of the organism – the felt body, the buried history, the wordless knowing that predates every appraisal – waits outside the renovated sentences, untouched.

IV. The Third Layer: The World Beneath the Story

“I notice you said ‘coping’ – as if life were a siege. I find myself wondering who taught you that. You mentioned your father once, almost in passing, when you spoke about your work – and your voice did something just then, similar to when you recounted your basement dream. What is the story you are not telling while you tell this one? I do not know what your stress is. I am not sure you do either – yet. What does it want from you?”

Again the language has transformed, and more radically. It has become slower, stranger, more allusive and interspersed with longer reflective silences. The questions are now open at the bottom – they lead nowhere in particular, which is precisely their power. This is the psychodynamic layer: it does not answer the story but listens beneath it, for the hidden story, the embodied emotional and somatic expressions of the non-verbal, the unsaid, the pattern that repeats across decades wearing different costumes. The interpreter offers no solutions; he offers unexpected connections, and the connections do not close the inquiry but open it. The patient leaves the hour not with answers but with better questions – and better questions are structural renovations, because they enlarge the space in which the mind can move. Where the second layer replaced content, the third layer loosens the grip of content altogether: perspectives widen, associations that were forbidden become thinkable, and the organism – not the intellect, the embodied organism – begins to find pathways it could not find while the official story blocked the road.

The language of this layer is already becoming porous. It gestures more than it states. It has learned to leave gaps – because it has discovered that the healing happens in the gaps.

V. The Fourth Layer

“I don’t know.”

Silence.

Nothing more. And – this is the scandal – nothing more is precisely what is needed. Not the frustrated silence of the helper who has run out of ideas, but the vast, deliberate, inhabited silence of one who has stopped needing ideas. When the patient asks for advice, for a solution, for anything: I don’t know. Let us stay here, with nothing, open to whatever may emerge. The language has completed its trajectory. At the first layer it was full; at the second, structured; at the third, porous; at the fourth it has become almost entirely space. And in parallel, what is being addressed has completed its own trajectory: from the person’s circumstances to her thoughts, to her hidden story, and now – finally – to the whole of her. Not the manager of situations, not the holder of beliefs, not even the teller of untold stories, but the entire living organism: the body with its four-billion-year inheritance, the nervous system with its sedimented history, the awareness in which all of it appears. That totality cannot be advised, cannot be reframed, cannot even be interpreted – it is larger than every instrument the shallower layers possess. It can only be met. What remains of speech is apophatic – it speaks only to unsay, it points only at what cannot be pointed at. The listener is no longer answering, no longer reframing, no longer even interpreting. The listener has become stillness itself, and offers the sufferer the strangest of all gifts: a place where absolutely nothing is required of them – and where, for the first time, nothing less than all of them is welcome; a place where nothing is precisely everything, and in the silence nothing important is left unsaid, left undone.

The remainder of this essay is an attempt to explain why this – the layer at which nothing is said, nothing is solved, and nothing is done – is not the abandonment of healing but its greatest depth.

VI. The Case Against Nothing

The objections deserve to be stated at full strength, because they are serious. First: is this not quietism dressed in therapeutic robes – a sophisticated permission to abandon the patient at exactly the moment she asks for help? Second: is it not nihilism – does the celebration of emptiness not risk confirming the depressed person’s darkest conviction, that nothing matters and nothing can be done? Third: is it not spiritual bypassing – the use of emptiness as an anesthetic, a way to float above the wound rather than enter it? And fourth, the empiricist’s objection: where is the mechanism? “Sit with nothing and be healed” sounds less like medicine than like mystification.

These objections share a single, understandable error: they mistake the fourth layer for the absence of the first three. But the layers are a ladder, not a menu. The silence of the fourth layer is not available as a starting point – offered prematurely, it is indeed abandonment, and offered to acute despair it is indeed dangerous. It becomes medicine only for the one who has climbed through advice and found it a borrowed coat, through reframing and found it redecoration, through interpretation and found even the finest insight to be one more piece of content – one more thing. The fourth layer is not the refusal to help. It is what helping becomes when everything shallower has been honestly exhausted. And nihility, as we shall see, is not the destination but the doorway – the place one must pass through, not the place one is invited to live.

VII. Why Nothing Heals

Consider first what suffering ordinarily makes us do. Pain arrives, and the whole organism organizes itself around a single project: get rid of it. We fight it, flee it, medicate it, analyze it, out-think it, out-run it. Every one of these maneuvers, whatever its surface sophistication, is the same maneuver: the attempt to manage the world of things – to find better content, better meaning, better solutions. And every one of these maneuvers draws its instructions from exactly one source: the past. What we already know. Our conditioning – the archive of everything that has previously worked, previously failed, previously been feared. This includes even the psychodynamic process, albeit to a lesser degree and with greater power of creative renewal. The fixing mind is by construction a retrospective mind. It cannot propose anything it has not, in some form, already met.

This is where the contemplative claim acquires, unexpectedly, a scientific spine. In the predictive-processing account of brain function associated with Karl Friston’s free-energy principle, the brain is not a passive receiver of the world but a ceaseless generator of predictions about it, correcting itself only where reality forces the issue. Perception itself is controlled hallucination disciplined by error; what we experience is largely what we expect, and what we expect is what we have been. Our priors – the accumulated weightings of a lifetime – are the riverbed through which every new moment is channeled. Suffering, in this light, is often not a problem in the riverbed but a problem of the riverbed: the predictions themselves have become the prison, and every effortful attempt to fix, cope, and solve is executed by the very machinery that is malfunctioning – and reinforces it with each execution. It is as if one lived a nightmare and attempted to liberate oneself from it by improving it, instead of waking up from it.

Now watch what the fourth layer does. To sit in profound not-knowing and non-doing – to genuinely surrender the project of fixing – is to withdraw, deliberately and radically, our investment in prediction. It is to stop feeding the priors. It is to suspend the entire retrospective apparatus and expose awareness, undefended, to what the machinery would otherwise have filtered out: the unexpected. The genuinely unexpected – which at first presents itself as noise, as nonsense, as seemingly meaningless and even seemingly mad. This is why the initial territory of the deep layer is so unattractive, and why almost everyone turns back: it is nihility – the cold vertigo of groundlessness, the discovery that beneath the stories there is no floor, the realization that beneath all existence is death and non-existence. The Kyoto School philosopher Keiji Nishitani made precisely this distinction: nihility is the abyss that opens when meaning collapses, when we are faced with the absurd and unacceptable, and stare in the abyss of forsakenness; nothingness is the spacious and generative groundlessness that arises when instead of being fled, nihility is passed through and inhabited until it turns transparent, and the duality of nihility and consciousness are transcended; emptiness is how nothingness lovingly manifests within the web of interdependence of all things. Nihility experienced against existence and life is despair. Nihility consented to, all the way down, opens into a fullness of being that owes nothing to content.

And in that fullness, something happens that no amount of fixing could have produced. The unexpected material – the nonsensical, the unbidden, the apparently crazy – is allowed to play itself out on the widest theater the mind possesses: the spaciousness of stillness and silence. Nothing is grasped, so nothing is prematurely shaped by the old grasping patterns. Connections form that no conditioning would have permitted, because the conditioning has been placed, for once, out of the loop. And from this – not from advice, logic or interpretation – solutions arise that no one supplied. They are not deduced. They are not remembered. They arise, spontaneously, from the depth of unknowing, the way a forgotten name surfaces only after we stop hunting for it. The healing is not an achievement of the will. It is what the organism with its hundreds of thousands of years of evolution does by itself the moment the will, and with it the censor, finally get out of the way.

This is why emptiness heals where effort fails: effort can only rearrange the known, and the known is what is making us ill.

VIII. The Practice of Subtraction

The contemplative traditions converged on this discovery from every direction, which should give the skeptic pause. The Daoists called it wu wei – non-doing, the effectiveness that flows precisely from the abandonment of forcing. Meister Eckhart called it Gelassenheit – equanimity, the letting-be that lets God be, and insisted that the soul must become empty even of its images of God. The apophatic theologians built an entire method on unsaying, holding that the deepest truths are approached only by the systematic negation of everything sayable. Keats, in a letter to his brothers, named the same capacity in the artist: negative capability, the power of “being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason.” And Wilfred Bion, from inside psychoanalysis itself, gave the fourth layer its most austere clinical formulation: the analyst should enter each session without memory or desire – without memory, because memory drags the past across the present; without desire, because desire (even the desire to cure) forecloses what has not yet emerged. Sigmund Freud commented in a similar vein on the psychoanalytic process. Both Bion and Freud understood that the analyst’s knowing is the patient’s ceiling.

Note what all of these are: not techniques of addition but disciplines of subtraction. They train the one capacity our culture never trains – the capacity to refrain and unknow. To not reach. To not know. To not do. And they are training in the strictest sense, for nothing is more difficult. Any beginner can add a practice; it takes years to subtract the practitioner. The muscles of grasping are the oldest muscles we have – they were laid down before language, in an organism whose survival once genuinely depended on ceaseless prediction – and they do not release because we understand, intellectually, that they should. They release only through the long apprenticeship of sitting, again and again, at the edge of the groundless, and discovering, again and again, that the ground was never what was holding us up.

This is also why the fourth layer cannot be counterfeited. Advice can be memorized, reframes can be scripted, even interpretations can be imitated. But a silence is either inhabited or it is not, and the nervous system of the sufferer knows the difference instantly. The only preparation for offering nothing is to have become, oneself, at home in emptiness.

IX. Nothing to Say, Nothing to Solve

So, we arrive at the formula, which reads as despair to the first layer and as freedom to the fourth:

Nothing to say. Nothing to solve. Nothing to do. Nowhere to go. Nobody to be.

Read from the surface, each clause is a door slamming. Nothing to say – the failure of comfort. Nothing to solve – the failure of intelligence. Nothing to do – the failure of agency. Nowhere to go – the failure of escape. Nobody to be – the failure of identity itself. This is the reading the frightened mind performs, and it is why the frightened mind fights so hard at the threshold.

Read from the depth, each clause is a door opening. Nothing to say – and so, at last, the end of the exhausting performance of commentary; the world permitted to be what it is before our verdicts. Nothing to solve – and so the end of life as an emergency; the discovery that this moment, whatever it holds, is not a problem awaiting our administration. Nothing to do – and so the release of the doer, the laying down of a burden carried so long it had been mistaken for a spine. Nowhere to go – and so, for the first time, actual arrival; the only moment ever available, no longer a corridor to a better one. Nobody to be – and so the end of the project of the self, the maintenance of that laborious character we perform even in private; and in its place not a void but an intimacy, an aliveness without an owner, the anonymous awareness in which everything has been appearing all along, the realization that we are the universe unfolding.

The clauses are identical. Only the depth of the reader has changed. And that, finally, is the whole teaching: healing is not the improvement of the story, the mood, or even the self. Healing is the migration of the reader – from the layer where nothing is a wound to the layer where nothing is the medicine.

We spend our lives asking suffering to leave. Suffering was asking us to arrive.

Copyright © 2026 by Dr. Stéphane Treyvaud. All rights reserved.

Silicon Dreams. Carbon Amnesia.

We stand at a peculiar crossroads in history: transfixed by the spectacle of silicon minds assembling themselves from human thought, we have turned our gaze outward toward the machine – and in doing so, turned away from something infinitely stranger and more wondrous. The neuron firing in your visual cortex as you read these words has been refined by 500 million years of ruthless experimentation.

...
Read more >
July 2, 2026

I. The Blind Spot

We stand at a peculiar crossroads in history: transfixed by the spectacle of silicon minds assembling themselves from human thought, we have turned our gaze outward toward the machine – and in doing so, turned away from something infinitely stranger and more wondrous. The neuron firing in your visual cortex as you read these words has been refined by 500 million years of ruthless experimentation. It speaks simultaneously in electrochemical gradients, synaptic geometry, glial whispers, epigenetic memory, and the mysterious way it feels to be you – a language so layered that we have barely begun to translate it. Artificial intelligence, for all its breathtaking mimicry, is a shadow cast by the organic: flat, fast, and legible precisely because it has been stripped of the irreducible complexity that makes life alive. The real frontier was never the one we built. It is the one we inhabit – and have barely looked at. The real moral concern is not AI’s consciousness, as it will forever just be a machine; it is the irreducibly different organic world of biology – life. Substrate matters.

* * *

II. The Flight from the Organic

And yet, rather than turn toward that complexity, we are doubling down on the flight from it. Somewhere deep in the cultural psyche, an ancient archetype is running – a Noah’s Ark for the digital age: the dream that we can load our minds onto servers, colonize Mars, and outrun the fate of being mortal, embodied, and organic. It is a fantasy that the laws of physics greet with indifference. Mars is not an oversight in our evolutionary story; it is simply not within the conditions that made us possible. We are not minds that happen to have bodies. We are bodies that learned to think – and the thinking cannot survive the abandonment of the substrate. 

Meanwhile, mindfulness – which might have been the corrective, the return to the full-bodied, right-hemispheric, emptiness-rooted intelligence that the organism actually runs on – has been quietly colonized by the same left-brain agenda it was meant to interrupt. Stripped of its contemplative roots in what I have coined Core Mind Realigning, it has been repackaged as a cognitive performance tool: stress reduction by spreadsheet, attention training as productivity hack. MBSR, as it is now commonly taught, too often becomes another exercise in mental management rather than a genuine rewiring of the organism’s relationship to itself. The silence at the center – the emptiness that is not absence but generative ground – has been edited out. What remains is technique without transformation: the map sold in place of the territory. Even technique is routinely taught superficially as many of my students coming from elsewhere attest – stripped of the exacting, unhurried rigour that navigating the infinite complexity of the mind demands. Too many practitioners have become more invested in the reductive confidence of evidence-based orthodoxy than in the kind of authentic human engagement that makes living transmission possible. But the deeper problem is one of timescale. The journey toward liberation from suffering is not a course. It is a lifelong apprenticeship – and the willingness to commit to it without horizon is not incidental to the path; it is the path. This is a principle Core Mind Realigning holds at its centre – with rigour, precision and commitment. It is no surprise, then, that people who complete a time-limited MBSR program without further training remain essentially untrained, unable to sustain a meaningful daily practice – because transformation is not an outcome. It is a way of living, a way of patiently walking the thousand-year journey and notice improvement.

* * *

III. The Complexity We Cannot Build

Consider what forgetting life with its organic substrate actually costs. Despite centuries of biochemistry, we have not yet assembled a single living cell from its chemical constituents – not one. The cell remains, in this precise technical sense, beyond us: a self-organizing, self-repairing, meaning-making system of such staggering intricacy that our most sophisticated laboratories can only observe it, never truly replicate it from the ground up. Even if we eventually construct something that qualifies as a living cell, what it would lack is not an ingredient but a history – and four billion years of unbroken evolutionary inheritance is not a detail that any laboratory procedure can retrospectively install. And the cell is merely the beginning. Trees negotiate resource-sharing through fungal networks with a sophistication that shames our internet. Animals navigate, grieve, play, and remember in ways that suggest an interior life we have only begun to take seriously. Ecosystems regulate climate, water, atmosphere, and fertility through feedback loops so interdependent that we cannot yet model them fully – only disturb them. And disturb them we have. Roughly 70% of insect biomass has disappeared within living memory, quietly and almost without public mourning, even though the loss of insects would mean the collapse of the terrestrial ecosystem. The organic world – the only world that actually made us – is being unmade, and we are largely looking elsewhere. Time matters, evolution matters, nature matters – replanted forests have little in common with old growth jungles. Just as a rich broth cannot be hurried – only tended, over hours, until what was raw and separate becomes nourishment – so the untamed processes of the mind yield their healing secrets only under the slow, sustained heat of trained awareness.

This is not only an ecological crisis. It is a crisis of attention – and perhaps, at its root, a crisis of wonder. Where is the mindfulness project equal to this moment? Not the one that teaches you to breathe through a difficult meeting, but the one that rekindles genuine passion for what we are made of – that positions the practitioner not merely as a calmer self, but as a custodian of biological heritage and wisdom. The original invitation of contemplative practice was never stress reduction as its core; it was the direct investigation of the nature of mind and reality – including the emptiness at the heart of both. Quantum biology is now finding that coherence, superposition, and non-locality are not metaphors when applied to living systems – they may be operational realities at the cellular level. The void is not outside biology. It may be biology’s deepest mechanism.

* * *

IV. The Left-Hemisphere Civilization

And what happens to the collective mind when this dimension is foreclosed – when a civilization becomes, structurally and habitually, a left-hemisphere operation? The results are not difficult to observe, and they are not accidental. The left hemisphere, as McGilchrist has meticulously documented, is not unintelligent – it is narrowly, brilliantly, dangerously competent. It categorizes, systematizes, and controls with extraordinary efficiency. What it cannot do is hold complexity without resolving it, tolerate paradox without collapsing it, or remain in relationship with what resists being named. When it becomes the dominant mode of a civilization – not merely a tool but the operating system – the dire consequences ripple outward into every domain of collective life.

Politics becomes the first casualty. Discourse that was once capable of holding tension – the irreducible tension between liberty and solidarity, tradition and renewal, the individual and the commons – hardens into opposed and irreconcilable certainties. Each side constructs an internally consistent worldview devoid of common sense, a closed epistemic system that processes only confirming data and experiences disconfirmation not as information but as attack. This is not disagreement. Disagreement requires a shared ground. What we are witnessing is something closer to parallel realities – each one coherent from within, each one increasingly unable to perceive the other as fully human. Dehumanization does not begin with violence. It begins with the foreclosure of ambiguity.

Religion (from Latin ‘re-ligio’ meaning ‘re-connection’), which at its contemplative root was always an encounter with what cannot be controlled – the groundlessness beneath ground, the silence beneath thought – gets conscripted into the left hemisphere’s project. Mystery becomes doctrine. Paradox becomes heresy. The apophatic tradition, which knew that the deepest truths can only be approached by unsaying, is replaced by literalism: sacred texts read as mindless instruction manuals, transcendence repackaged as tribal identity. God becomes a flag. The infinite becomes a weapon. And those who wield it do so with the serene confidence of people who have mistaken the map for the territory so completely that they have forgotten a territory ever existed.

Power displaces respect because respect requires the recognition of an interior life in the other – and that recognition is a right-hemisphere act. When the right hemisphere’s contribution is diminished, the other becomes a category before they become a person: a demographic, a threat vector, an ideological position. Empathy does not disappear entirely – but it narrows, becomes tribal, and then, in one of the more tragic ironies of our moment, turns against itself in suicidal inevitability. What begins as genuine moral sensitivity curdles, under left-hemisphere management, into a performance of sensitivity – competitive, punitive, and ultimately self-consuming. The result is the tyranny of division, entitlement and indoctrination. Truth becomes dangerous, because it is routinely inconvenient and offensive to the spineless – then gets replaced by the scourge of political correctness. Cultures begin auditing their own histories not with the nuanced grief of people trying to integrate a difficult past, but with the prosecutorial zeal of systems seeking to purge contamination. Here again, the substrate is forgotten, history is forgotten, the sense of identity lost. The result is not healing. It is a new form of the same splitting: the world divided again into pure and impure, victim and oppressor, the saved and the condemned, with the terms simply reversed.

Polarization deepens not because human nature has changed but because the cultural and technological environment now systematically rewards the left hemisphere’s preferred mode: fast, certain, categorical, and emotionally activating in the most reductive sense. Social media does not merely reflect the divided mind – it selects for it, amplifies it, and profits from it. The algorithm has no investment in wisdom. It has an investment in engagement, which is to say, in the kind of arousal that forecloses reflection. We have built, at civilizational scale, a machine that feeds the part of us least capable of governing wisely – and then expressed bewilderment at the quality of our governance.

What is missing – what has always been missing from political discourse conducted entirely within the left hemisphere’s jurisdiction – is the capacity McGilchrist calls 'Aufhebung': The ability to hold opposites in a higher synthesis without destroying either pole. This is not compromise in the weak sense – the splitting of differences – but genuine dialectical movement, the kind that requires sitting with discomfort long enough for something new to emerge. It is, not coincidentally, precisely what contemplative practice trains. The still point is not politically neutral. The capacity to remain present with what is unresolved, to resist the premature closure of complexity into slogan – this is a civic faculty as much as a personal one. Its absence is not just a spiritual problem. It is a governance crisis.

* * *

V. The Return

And yet – and this is the turn that neither the political left nor right can quite bring itself to make – the remedy is not more analysis. It is not a better ideology, a more refined critique, or a superior epistemic framework. The left hemisphere cannot think its way out of dominant left-hemispheric insanity. The exit is not through the same door. What is required is a return – not a nostalgic one, but a radical one, in the original sense of radix: root. A return to the substrate. To the body that breathes without being asked. To the forest floor where a single teaspoon of soil contains more microbial organisms than there are human beings on earth. To the silence that is not the absence of noise but the generative presence of something prior to noise – the ground state from which experience arises and to which, in deep practice, it returns.

This is what the organic world has always been quietly offering. Not consolation. Not escape. But scale – the humbling, orienting scale of a complexity so vast and so intimate that it cannot be othered. You cannot stand in genuine relationship with an old-growth forest, with the mycelial network threading beneath your feet, with the migratory intelligence of a bird navigating by magnetic field and star – and remain entirely inside the left hemisphere’s jurisdiction. Something shifts. The boundary between self and world becomes, not dissolved, but permeable. This is not mysticism as an add-on to biology. This is biology, perceived at the depth it deserves.

The contemplative traditions knew this long before neuroscience had the instruments to confirm it. The Zen master pointing at the moon was not making a metaphysical claim – he was performing a corrective, redirecting attention from the symbol to the thing, from the map to the living territory. The Buddhist teaching on śūnyatā – emptiness – was never a nihilistic statement about the unreality of the world. It was a precise phenomenological observation: that all phenomena, including the self, arise interdependently, without fixed essence, in a web of mutual conditionality that modern ecology recognizes under a different name. The Buddha and the mycologist are, at some level, describing the same discovery. The cell membrane and the Markov blanket are, at some level, encoding the same ancient problem: where does self end and world begin, and what does it mean that the answer is always – here, and not quite here.

Core Mind Realigning we practice in our meditation programs at The Mindfulness Centre – the full-spectrum return to embodied, right-hemisphere-inclusive, emptiness-rooted awareness – is not, then, a wellness intervention. It is a reorientation to reality. It asks not merely “how do I manage my stress” but “what am I, actually, and what world am I embedded in.” It trains the capacity to tolerate not-knowing long enough for genuine knowing to arise – the kind that includes the body, the relational field, the silence beneath thought, the intricate aliveness of the organism that has been, all along, doing something far more extraordinary than anything we have yet programmed a machine to do.

* * *

VI. The Frontier We Forgot

We are not at the dawn of intelligence. We are, if anything, at a moment of reckoning with how much of it we have ignored. The intelligence that assembled the human eye, that coordinates the immune response, that allows a murmuration of starlings to move as a single fluid mind without a conductor – this intelligence does not fit in a prompt. It does not run on servers. It also does not require the optional imaginative maneuver of engaging in an intimate relationship with a divine creator. It ‘simply’, yet astoundingly runs on carbon, water, time, and a set of thermodynamic constraints so precise that the margin for life, in the universe we can observe, appears almost impossibly narrow. We are that margin. We are what happened when matter became curious about itself – and the least we owe that fact is attention.

The mindfulness project, at its fullest, is nothing less than this: the cultivation of a quality of attention adequate to the complexity we actually inhabit. Not the attention that optimizes, extracts, and moves on – but the attention that stays, that deepens, that allows the world to become strange and specific and irreplaceable again. The trees are still communicating. The genome is still, in every cell division, copying three billion base pairs with an error rate that would humiliate any human engineer. The glia are still doing something in the brain that we do not yet fully understand. The emptiness at the heart of matter is still – against all our productivity – simply here and, if you prefer, simply God in its incomprehensible essence. God does not have to be posited separately. This very ordinary embodied moment is extraordinary beyond imagination when we know how to look closely – it is God’s magnificent incarnation. 

We did not need to build a mind. We need to inhabit the embodied one we have – and wake up, at last, to the world it arose from.

Copyright © 2026 by Dr. Stéphane Treyvaud. All rights reserved.

More Blog Posts

Latest Blog

Stay Connected

Subscribe for mindfulness resources, upcoming programs, and and Dr. Treyvaud’s field notes from the mind.

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.
Intellectual Property PolicyUser Agreement
Copyright © 2026 by Dr. Stéphane Treyvaud.